What is it you must do every day to feel okay?
Do what you must do every day to feel okay.
Whatever that is for you.
Sometimes it might be enough to simply get up and haul your ass out of bed.
Other days you can do more.
And when you’re ready to do more, get on with it. Because that’s where the danger lies. In not doing it. In staying still, staying stuck. Stuck in that place, that feeling, that mindset where you don’t do what you know you can and could and should do now.
For me, I need to write every day. To communicate my truth. To get in tune with my soul and allow the words to come through me. It doesn’t matter if they’re read by anyone, although its always great when I hear that what I’ve written had helped someone. What’s important is that I write.
But some days I don’t feel like it, and still when I sit down and get still and quiet the words flow and I always feel better for having done so.
But there are other days, when just getting out of bed feels like all I can do. When communicating with other people feels impossible because I don’t even know how to connect in with myself.
And on those days, I know that’s its enough to just allow myself the luxury of feeling nothing, of drifting close to the gaping maw of darkness. There’s still some things that need to be done, non-negotiables – Amelia’s walk, cleaning the house of clutter, brushing my hair and teeth. It might sound like the bare minimum and on better days it is.
But on those days, its everything. And when they come around, I do the bare minimum and it can feel like I’ve climbed a mountain and its enough.
BUT…I choose to never stay there. Not anymore.
The times of losing weeks here are long gone. One or two days is all I can stand before my survival instinct kicks in and I say, ‘Enough!’
And it is.
I know its tough. I know you can stay stuck for days that turn into weeks that turn into months and turn into years.
You’re missing out on life. And we’re missing out on you. We need you. Yes, the world needs you, even when we don’t you, we all need you.
Get up my darling, and do what you must do. Communicate. Wash. Dress. Speak. Show love to someone, most especially to yourself.
You are worth the effort. Always.
Whatever you need to do to heal, start doing it. Howl, rend, tear, destroy and then pick up, create, mend, hold together, live, love.
Its all going to be okay. Breathe. One second at a time, one minute at a time.
Focus on something beautiful. Find it in your life, that thing of beauty, no matter how fleeting.
Find it. And hold it in your mind and allow it to fill you up.
Start with one minute, Build it up and soon you’ll feel better for an hour, a whole afternoon might pass by, a day, the glorious next morning. And you will.
Give yourself time, allow healing, allow peace, love and beauty in. They’re there with you. Maybe you can’t feel them right now. Allow them in.
It gets easier. Living with pain. It does. You don’t have to believe it yet. But believe ME. Just for a while today. Trust me and keep going.
Because we need you and love you.