RWID – what’s that? those of you have not been with me long ask.
RWID? Why its only the greatest self help principle there is, say I.
I was scheduling an appointment with a new client and she was talking about her low self esteem and difficulty in loving herself. And whilst I have all these wonderful snazzy new tools and techniques that I love to use because I know how powerful they are; sometimes you have to go back to the old tools, the ones that work so well and yet can get overlooked beside the shiny new stuff.
And I know how well RWID works because I used it myself when I was at my lowest ebb, because I use it with clients regularly and give it out as part of client homework at the end of my first session and because clients tell me how much its changed how they think. One, once suicidal, client credits this simple tool with saving her life.
RWID is the underlying principle of almost every self help tool, and in its simplest form, can be used to form a shield to protect that brave, vulnerable, loving heart of yours from all the slings and arrows the world and you, probably mostly you, fire at it.
You can also use RWID to create a sword to cut back the tangle of poisonous barbs and vines and choking weeds that are the thoughts attempting to hold back your powerful, sensitive soul.
Its so simple that you might be tempted to dismiss its power, so let me explain a little about where that power comes from. Remember Einstein’s disruptive theory E=MC2?
The E in that equation stands for energy. You probably knew that, and if you focus your work on the energy side of the equation, that influences the matter side . Obviously, that is in essence what the equation says. What does that have to do with how you’re feeling?
Your thoughts, your feelings, your low mood, bad vibe, whatever you call it, that’s energy. And that’s what you’re putting out in the world so that’s the matter you see around you. Low mood, bad vibe matter which feeds on your low mood, bad vibe thoughts and feelings and it can become a vicious cycle.
Change your thoughts, change your feelings and you change your energy and when you hold that change, when you repeat a new pattern of energy that is higher, lighter, then the world around you changes.
So how do you change your thoughts and feelings, that where the sword and shield come in, that’s the RWID principle. RWID stands for Relative Weight of Intensity and Duration.
Now, I’ve written all about RWID before, rather well too, so I’m not going to rehash perfectly good work. Instead, I’ve gone back to an old blog from 2015 when I first discovered this principle and cut and pasted it to here for you to read, learn and please, for the love of yourself, use.
Through using RWID, you’ll be able to change your perspective and learn how to dominate your thinking. Use it and let me know how its worked for you.
Change your life tactic: Understand the importance of RWID
In the previous post, I introduced you to Brendon Burchard, and my favourite video of his. However, I didn’t draw your attention to the most important thing Brendon talks about,RWID, the relative weight of importance and duration of your thoughts.
Simply put, what you think most about gets bigger and stronger.
In your mind at any given time, you have two thoughts. When you’re contemplating your weaknesses, you’re also aware of your strengths but the weight of your focus is on the negative.
How long do you give your mental attention to the negative, the things that limit you rather than the positive, those things that uplift and expand you?
And when you give your attention to the negative, when you worry about the awful things that might happen, those things get bigger, and become more likely to happen.
What will change your life? Will focusing on the negative make you move forward and change the things in your life that are not serving you? Or is it more likely that thinking on the positive possibilities, the strengths and abilities you have will change your life?
This had a massive impact in my own life. Eight months ago, I had a suicide ideation. I was horrified and terrified because I’d never thought to take my own life before and because it horrified and terrified me, the suicidal thoughts were taking up all of my mind space.
I knew if I kept thinking about it, the suicide was more likely to happen. And I couldn’t focus on positive happy thougts, so instead I chose 5 words to say to myself over and over again to give me the space to move away from the suicide thought.
Wealth, success, love, peace, happiness. Those were the words I said over and over.
Wealth, because it was lack of financial security that had pushed me to the point of taking my own life, and I have always needed security and safety. It’s one of my deepest fears to be unsafe financially.
Success because it’s also one of my needs, to be recognised as someone who has had an impact and used my skills and abilities to serve and do something that matters.
Love because it’s the highest form of communication and connection with other beings and we all need that.
Peace, freedom from my doubts and fears.
Happiness, that feeling of joy that comes from living a life that’s open, honest, fulfilling and fun.
It didn’t happen overnight, but my mantra did push aside the suicidal thoughts after a few days and I kept it up until I was able to view the episode calmly and understand what was driving me.
I ask again, what will change your life? Focus on something bigger than your worries and insecurities. Focus on what’s great about you, give your attention to the wonderful being you are, and all that you can do and move forward into light and love.
more on RWID….
I have already spoken about RWID here, but I wanted to go back to it because its so important as an emergency mental health tool.
I got a call a few days ago from someone who was extremely distressed and after spending some time talking them down from the heightened emotional and anxious state they were in, a state in which they were afraid of hurting themselves and even considering suicide, I was able to talk about changing the focus of their thinking.
Thinking about suicide is frightening, and that thought starts to take over our mind, and its hard to think of something else. But if we don’t, then because of how much of our attention is on that thought, due in part to the fear it generates, it becomes more likely that is the action that will be taken.
Instead, think of 3 words that mean something to you, words the represent something that makes you feel great, that fill you up with love and kindness.
Repeat those words as a mantra. Usually people start off saying them really fast, but as they distance themselves from the fear thoughts, they slow down.
I also ask that people remember to breathe, to take long slow deep breaths and repeat your 3 core words that release those feel good hormones and chemicals inside your brain.
I left my friend with the same advice as I’ve outlined above and when she came to see me the next day for some more structured support, she was calmer and had much more emotional control.
So much so, that she was able to phone her clients and make plans to get back to her work in the next couple of weeks.
She’s still repeating her mantra and still breathing, long, slow and deep, as she keeps bringing herself back to living in the present, where her pain is less.
The change your life tactics I share work, both in the bigger grand scheme of life and in the day to day nitty gritty, as well as in trauma and emergencies. Try them and see for yourself.