Taking time to make sure what I’m doing feels good for everyone

During the pandemic I wrote a blog post every day. Some were good, some brilliant and some not very good at all. But I showed up every day because it gave me something to focus on and I believed I was helping.

Was I?

I don’t know.

Then I had the family crisis that almost left me homeless and I moved back to Northern Ireland in early 2021. I barely wrote a blog from week to week.

Did it matter?

I don’t think so.

I’m not sure it made any difference except to me as I felt like I was letting everyone down, whoever ‘everyone’ is.

2021 I spent in a period of recovery from two years of loss, grief, bullying and those twin demons of anxiety and depression.

I walked in the woods for hours.

I read books, both enlightening and simply entertaining.

I distracted myself with TikTok and grew entranced with cat videos, young philosophers and creators sharing life as it is, not a curated image.

I learned so much from the past two and half years, mostly that I live for myself and no-one else.

We all live for ourselves. Its just that some of us think living for other people is what we’re supposed to do in living for ourselves.We confused the message based on our family upbringing and society norms.

I also read a lot of feminist literature and took courses in how to do business focused on the basis of consent.

That’s why I no longer am offering monthly sign ups and annual programs.

Its a very comfortable way to conduct business for me. I get clients who commit to working with me for six months and longer, that’s great.

But what if they change their mind, maybe they don’t want to feel they’ve failed at therapy or to let me down.

My job isn’t to create more tension and stress in my clients’ lives.

And I thought about the definition of consent as learned from Yes Matters a UK charity that both educates on gendered violence and why enthusiastic ongoing consent matters as well as supporting victims of that violence.

Consent should not only be enthusiastic and committed at the beginning of any interaction, it should be gained throughout the process and affirmed at every stage.

Which is why I’m switching my client and group hypnotic coaching and meditation courses and programs to a pay as you go model.

I haven’t gotten all the technicalities sorted yet, so bear with me on that please.

Just know that the reason for the switch is good for both of us.

So keep saying yes. Yes, I want to hear from you. Yes, I want to work with you. Yes, lets keep working together.

And on that: Be Your Own LightHouse, my beautiful weekly hypnotic meditation group that guides you into connection with your Higher Self is open for registration. £25/session every Thursday at 7pm on Zoom.

If you’re interested let me know and I’ll send you payment details for the session.

And if you’re interested in learning more about consent and feminist business operations, I highly recommend you check out Yes Matters and Kelly Dials.

Love,

Cynthia xx