The two things you must do to have a happy successful life

There are only two things you need to do to have the life you want and be the person you want to be. Just two.

And I deliberately include ‘being the person you want to be’  because there are many people under the mistaken illusion that if they have everything they want, they will be happy. I’m afraid not.

I have many clients who are very financially successful but whose personal life is a mess.

Clients come to me because their relationships are falling apart even though they give their partner everything they think they want.

And still more come to see me because of addiction; gambling, alcohol, pornography. It doesn’t actually matter what the addiction is, the reason for it is the same as for all of them.

They don’t like themselves. They don’t like who they are and in some cases actively despise themselves.

To have a happy, successful life you must like and respect yourself, you need to be able to know yourself to be person worthy of success and happiness. And that’s actually harder sometimes than building the success.

We’ll start there because when you do the hard things first, life gets easier.

Here’s an extra lesson for free – taking the easy way out every day makes life harder. This is a rule. Trust me on this. Don’t want to get up and go to school or study after work for that extra qualification that will enable you to get a better job. No, don’t do it. Stay where you are, lie in bed or on the couch and don’t make the effort to do better.

And everyday life gets harder because you missed the opportunity to create something bigger and better for yourself.

Same with diet and health. Its not easy to discipline yourself to say no to sweets and eat well. So don’t and eventually that lack of discipline will catch up with you and you’ll get sick.

Another example. Go out and spend your wages every week, leave no penny behind. Spend it all and have a ball. Sure, great times. But when you need savings for a new business or to buy something you need or repair your car, there’s nothing there.

Do the hard things and life gets easier. Choose the easy option and life gets harder.

Okay, back to my main point.

Lets get to how you can be the person you want to be.

You may decide that you’d like to be like Oprah, or Jennifer Lawrence or Ronaldo or Jeff Bezos. You know why? Because you see them doing things you’d like to do but for some reason you’ve decided you can’t do it as yourself, you have to be someone else.

But you were born to be you. Totally you, unforgettable as you, undeniably all of you.

Problem is, you’ve been told that you were wrong in some way. Too much of this or that, not enough of something else. Just not right as yourself.

Other people, people who cared about you, people you cared for, told you this and in order to be loved, in order to fucking survive  (because it is an evolved human survival instinct to please our caregivers as babies and children because abandonment means death). So you stop being all of you.

You cut pieces of yourself off. You deny other parts of yourself. You suppress, avoid, distract from. And that denied part of you hurts.

Imagine if you cut off your hand or your arm. Yeah, well this hurts you just as much but its not visible, its under the surface. You’ve cut off parts of yourself – don’t tell me that doesn’t fucking hurt! I know it does because I lived with my own bleeding lost parts for years.

And the problem is that pain is so intense and yet we can’t acknowledge it because we don’t want that part to exist because we were told its wrong. So we numb ourselves to the pain through drink, food, sex, porn, drugs anything that helps us deny the agony of our loss.

And the answer to that pain is to go inside and make peace with those parts we had cut ourselves off from.

To heal and become happy, successful people, we need to make friends with the parts of ourselves we denied existence. We go into our internal landscape. We have to do the thing we’ve spent our lives avoiding and sit with the broken pieces of ourself.

And that’s what inner journey meditation and hypnosis does. It takes you on a journey into your own subconscious for you to pull all your seperate parts together and move forward as one.

Because, these parts of you are influencing you without your awareness.

Imagine if you will your subconscious mind is like a castle and it has its beautiful reception rooms, its wonderful galleries and corridors, kitchens and ramparts. But it also has dungeons, way below the surface, a labyrinth where monsters lurk.

In one is fear, locked up tight and the key thrown away but fear seeps out around the edges of the door and influences every decision you ever make.

In another is anger, rage a tumultuous maelstrom of emotion that also includes powerlessness because nothing is more infuriating than being unable to fight back, to say No. And that anger and powerlessness are always right under the surface so every time you want to make a change, you say you can’t (powerlessness), and get mad at yourself (internalised rage). OH yes, didn’t I say that? This anger is almost always directed at yourself most of all.

And behind another locked door is a lake of sadness, so deep, so vast you’re afraid you’d drown if you ever allowed yourself to feel it.

There are other rooms and more monsters, all parts of you that were frozen in the time that you experienced the initial traumatising event.

Oh, there’s so much more to be said about this but that’s enough for now.

You have an internal landscape that is full of different parts of you and all of them have influence over what you get to do, achieve and who you show up as in this world.

Your job is to learn how to navigate that inner landscape, meet with the different parts, bring them together under your conscious leadership and bring peace and healing even to the worst of your monsters that you’ve spent years hiding from.

So, that’s step one in living in happy, successful life.

Step two is way easier. Be clear on what you want and always hold it in focus in your minds eye, follow inspired action and keep showing up. That’s it.

This is why success can be so difficult for people who have had difficult childhoods. Because the traumatised child within us is scared to show up on a bigger stage, to be visible to a wider audience, because the rule they learned to never break was stay small, hide, don’t be seen.

This is why I’ve created the Be Your Own Lighthouse program. Because we deserve to have all of us together in our hearts and minds, no part of us lauguishing in a dungeon because as a child we were told some sh!t by an adult who didn’t know any better because of their own unresolved trauma.

Be Your Own Lighthouse is the work I’ve been doing with clients and for myself for the past couple of years and the results are remarkable. People find themselves again. They find joy and playfulness. They open up creatively and are gentler, kinder and nicer to be around. Relationships improve, work performance improves, life satisfaction rockets sky high.

Happiness and success go hand in hand. And it all starts within.

Be Your Own Lighthouse involves guided hypnotic meditation, coaching and being seen and held by the group. You’re not doing this alone, we all walk into our darkness together and our lights shine bright into the hidden spaces within and find what needs to be revealed, healed and released.

I am so looking forward to bringing you this work. FR** Masterclass next Thursday, 21st October 7pm UK time

 

Love,

Cynthia xx