You decided and then…nothing! Staying stuck costs you everything.

This morning I wanted to go on a long walk with Amelia, to venture further and end up along the canal. So I didn’t turn off to go to the pond and she stopped, stalled and that was the first indication that I wasn’t going where she wanted to go.

It was also my first indication that she wasn’t happy with the direction I was taking.

We’d kinda fallen into a rut over the past couple of months, partly because she’d firstly had an injured leg that required restricted movement and then she had her op and needed to recuperate and then I hurt my knee and had to rest up.

But for the past couple of weeks, the only reason we hadn’t gotten back into our longer walk routine was that we’d fallen into a rut, gotten lazy and weren’t putting the effort in to change things.

Not today. I had decided. Today I was marching on and my trusty sidekick wasn’t happy.

We came to the next fork in the road and again, Amelia choose the shorter route that would bring her back to the pond and familiarity.

Again, I choose the other way, the path that led onto another and then another turn and another path and eventually we’d end up at the canal.

We kept going and every so often I had to turn around and check on her, always  metres behind me, dragging her feet, not happy at all.

We reached the crossroads, past the Morris dancing green and down another path, a beautiful walk with trees arching overhead. I consider myself blessed with the countryside on our doorstep and this weather is gorgeous, the perfect day for it.

Further along, a squirrel scampered across the path and I stopped to point it out to Amelia and as I looked back at her, head down, misery personified, my heart broke.

I couldn’t carry on, dragging her along behind me when she clearly didn’t want to be here. When I called her and indicated we were turning around, she bounced like a happy hare, so excited, a completely different dog to a moment before. And proceeded to lead the way back, a couple of steps ahead of me, head up tail wagging, no more lagging behind.

And that blew my plan for a walk along the canal. And as I walked back, the way Amelia wanted us to go, her happy and content, me a bit disgruntled at having my plans thwarted and confused about why she resisted that direction so much, it struck me a a perfect metaphor for how the various parts of our minds often interact and sabotage each other.

Imagine, there you are, in your conscious mind, deciding you’re going for it, whatever it is.

You’re making changes, this is your time. Life is going to get better because you decided on it.

Yes, you did. You choose to make a change. You decided and it all starts from there.

And that’s where every change starts, from a decision, you choosing what you want. To be better, to step up, to show up and be the best you can be in whatever it is you’ve decided.

Decision Made. And maybe even a plan of action formed, plotting your course from here, where you are to there, where you want to be.

Perfect. That’s it.

All you have to do now is work your plan, every day do a little that takes you forward.

Right. Right?

Ha! We all know the answer to that, don’t we?

We make a start, we’re marching down the path but there’s a part of us that’s not happy. that’s not sure this is such a good idea. Why did we want to do this anyway? Why change? Things weren’t so bad where we were. Its okay, we haven’t gone too far, we’ll stop, go back.

Here’s the thing about human beings, we have more than one mind, there’s at least three that science has confirmed, the gut brain, heart brain and head brain and we have many different parts within those minds. I’m not talking about the hypothalamus and amygdala and prefrontal cortex, and so on, those  are just the labeled brain parts. I’m talking about the different parts of who we are.

We have many different parts to us and some work well together to move us forward in achieving our goals and some resist with everything we’ve got.

How do we get all of us on board to make the changes we want and maybe even need to make?

How do we entice the parts of us that are resisting into joining the team?

Its not will power, nor coercion. Its by ensuring the goals we aim for also deliver what the resisting parts want most.

Because that part of you isn’t resisting just to avoid change. There’s a deeper reason, and until you understand that, you won’t be able to coax that part of you into joining forces with you.

Here’s an excerpt from The Change for Life, Self Restorer programme workbook. This is a great exercise for changing your beliefs. I use it regularly and it works so well.

Change for Life: Belief Busting exercise

Because that’s what going on here, the part of us that is reluctant to change believes staying where we are is better than making changes. Even when we know those changes are good for us!

Your job is to figure out why that part of you believes that.

What is it they really want, what is the desire they have beneath the fear? Figure out that and then work out how you give that part what it needs when you achieve your goal.

Quite often that means soothing the fear that part of you has. Fear that was probably programmed into you in childhood.

Soothe the fear, give them the reward they really want, and they’ll be on board with your change programme.

Its going to be the same for me with Amelia in many ways. I’ve no way of figuring out what the fear is but its my job to soothe it and to make this longer walk as fun and interesting and safe as the short one round the pond feels to her.

When I manage that. we’ll both get to enjoy these gorgeous country walks in this glorious autumnal weather.

My job now is to figure out how to make us both happy doing what I want to do (the longer walk.)

Same goes for you, with all the various parts of you, your job is to figure out how to get all of you feeling safe and happy going for your goals.

Imagine how unstoppable we all would be if we weren’t holding ourselves back.

Time for that to change. Yes?

Love,

Cynthia xx

PS. Below you’ll learn more about how I can support you in your healing journey.

Think what would life be like if your thought processes were upgraded so you became unstoppable. What would life be like if you were able to step up and show up as that best ever version of you that you know you’re capable of?

Picture yourself thriving in life, developing an instinct for making the right choices, knowing in your gut you’re always choosing the correct thing for you.

Imagine any addictions, old anxiety and fear melting away, no longer influencing your thinking, your behaviour, your decisions. You are free to make better choices.

Think how it would feel achieving your goals with far less resistance,  whether it’s earning an extraordinary income, being a rockstar in your business or career, or excelling in your personal relationships. You can do it, you have no fears about any of it anymore.

See yourself fully present and grounded, living with total fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with zero regrets, as you fearlessly carve your own path forward.

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