Feelings! Nothing more than feelings and yet…feelings are everything.

Life, for me, is about getting better at it every day. Even if only 1%.

Little by little, I hope to grow into being that best ever version of myself that I know is inside of me. The one I buried for years beneath other peoples’ judgments, my own fears and prejudices and societal rules and expectations.

Every day has a choice in it. Sometimes it’s every hour and if you’re struggling and going through something, or dealing with an addiction it could be every moment. There’s a decision to be made. To allow that best version out as much as I can. To do what I think that version of me would do rather than reacting from the subconscious behaviour patterns of my current iteration and from this current lived in environment.

What would your ideal self do?

It all starts with awareness. Awareness of that ideal self. Who do you want to be? What are the habits and behaviours of that version of you? What do they do that you don’t currently do? What behaviour do they not do that you current indulge in?

Live into that ideal self as much as you can.

Otherwise, we simply fall back into our unconscious programming and run the same sh!t every day!

We follow the dictates of our subconscious and that’s like, at best, having a seven year old child in charge of your life. Great when deciding on what you want to do for fun, not so good when you’re developing your career, finances and relationships.

Getting better is also about feeling better. Feeling the best you can in any given moment. And that means feeling the feeling, knowing that it is all transitory. Nothing lasts; grief, pain, heart ache, happiness, joy, all come through us with devastating intensity and ebb away.

Some pain is so great, we can feel like its tearing us apart and that we cannot withstand it. You can. We learn to live with the pain and as we do, it eases, once we accept it and feel it, the ache diminishes.

Imagine a life without pain, without grief or sorrow. It is also a life without joy, love, happiness. To feel one, you must expect all.

That is the beauty of humanity. To experience everything. The pain of losing a loved one is tempered by the joy their life brought to ours.

One cannot exist without the other. They do not cancel each other out, rather one enhances the exquisite reality of the other.

Welcome pain, it shows you have loved. Welcome grief, welcome heart ache. When they come, you know you have known joy and happiness.

Don’t dwell there. Feelings are meant to be transitory.  Not a place to live in. That’s the mistake we often make.

Allow yourself to feel your feelings and they dissipate, they dissolve away. The feeling (verb) of them is the point.

And never negate what you feel. Never say ‘Oh, it’s just a feeling.’ Never feel like its not real.

Your feelings are never silly, never unfounded, never anything but real and true. If you are feeling something, its as real as the clothes you wear and the food you eat. Feelings are real.

Maybe no-one else feels the same way, that doesn’t make your feeling any less true, nor less important.

A feeling is real. You need to observe it, honour it, learn from it. FEEL it. Explore where it came from, why it showed up, and allow yourself to express it fully in your body and in your mind.

Where are you feeling the sensations in your body? Describe the sensations caused. Does it stay in the same place? Where did it originate, does it move anywhere as you pay attention to it? Do the sensations change over time, with attention?

Do any old memories come up as you feel into it? Ask yourself what age you are in this feeling as you lean into it. And ask what it needs from you?

Feelings are one of the ways our body and subconscious attempt to draw our attention to something that needs worked on. Something that needs to be recognised, allowed, healed and released.

Ignoring feelings, denying them, pushing them down, distracting ourselves away from them will only bring more of the same, in ever greater intensity until we can’t stand to ignore it anymore. We may get ill, have a break down, or simply struggle more and more and more.

What we need is a Break THROUGH!

Feel it!

Give your body and the sensations within your full attention. Concentrate/Meditate/Be Quiet and Still. Allow your body to share its wisdom and its needs with you. Trauma gets stuck in our bodies, unhealthy emotions and feelings that we stuffed down because we didn’t understand they are only a message, not part of us.

You are never given anything you can’t cope with. It might feel overwhelming, like a giant wave taking you under.

You’ll surface. Exhilarated, refreshed, maybe a little wrung out, and set free.


Cynthia xx

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