I’ve been sitting in the house without heat or water today. And it’s the coldest day of the year (not really but it feels like it.) See the picture above? That’s Russia not here (Wigan), I would not be able to cope with that at all. God bless all the people who face that kind of cold.
Anyway, back to my tale; we have a new gas boiler getting installed, a massive upgrade from the old system that was here when we moved in.
That old system didn’t heat all the radiators and never got the ones it did reach all that hot and to be honest, I was worried about its safety as the CO2 monitor kept going off even when the burner wasn’t operating.
But today, after a weekend of no heating, although I did have water, today was so unpleasant and I got so cold that I felt like I couldn’t think or function.
I had to get moving, so I grabbed my coat and hat and gloves and took Amelia out for a short walk. Yes, it was colder outside but not by much! And all I could think about was how cold I was, how miserable and yeuck I felt.
Now, bearing in mind, I’ve only lived here for 2 months, know barely anyone and I didn’t have the car so I couldn’t drive to the gym and sit in the sauna and get a hot shower there. So I was stuck in this cold house without water, a radiator and blankets all I had to stay warm.
It was my choice to wait for the new boiler to get installed rather than getting a repair on the old system. I knew it was going to be difficult at this time of year but I felt the upgrade was going to be worth it.
Today, if that choice was before me again, I’d be sorely tempted to say ‘F*%k the upgrade, just fix the damn thing so I’m warm and have hot water.’
Coming home, I swerved into next door’s drive, knocked on their front door and asked if I could please use their bathroom to have a hot shower.
That could certainly be viewed as rude, intrusive, cheeky at the least. Didn’t care, I needed that hot shower and I was willing to beg for it.
Of course they said yes. And I rushed into my house, told Amelia to stay, grabbed toiletries and towels and ran back next door.
I think I was transported to heaven for those ten minutes. The water was scalding hot and I started to feel human again, like myself, like I could handle anything.
Suddenly, I could say yes to my work, yes to getting ready for tomorrow’s meetings, yes to getting through the next 24 hours without heat or hot water in my own house.
Yes, it is worth getting through these less than desirable circumstances to get to a new vastly improved heating system.
What does any of this have to do with you?
When we decide to step up a level in an area of our life, it’s hard work. We struggle with it, we resent introducing the discipline of integrating a new habit, we avoid making space to go through the sh!t involved in getting from where we are to where we want to be.
And this is where people often give up and decide its not worth it. And what you’re really doing when you say ‘I don’t care, it’s too hard, I can’t be bothered, I’ll stay where I am, it’s not so bad,’ is you’re giving up on yourself and your right to have that thing you want.
You’re giving up on you and the improved circumstance you decided you wanted to bring into your life. You decided you want this thing, but it turns out you have to work to make it happen, so you just go, ‘Nah, not for me, thanks anyway.’
Don’t give in to your own BS!
Its going to be the same for me tomorrow. The car will be back and it’s time to go back to the gym. Do I want to go to the gym? Hell no! Do I want to improve my health and fitness, get a strong, toned body? F*%k YES!
And so I will have to get on with it. I’ll have to put on my gymwear and go do the work. In comes the discipline. I have decided I’m worth taking care of myself, I’m worth the effort, I want the results that only going to the gym regularly will get me, so I work through the resistance and get on with it.
I keep going to the gym and I’ll get what I want. I stop and I won’t. My choice, my decision. I choose to grow my trust in myself by keeping the commitment I made to myself. I grow in self belief and self esteem because I’m worth keeping my own promises. I follow through and my faith grows stronger as my body grows stronger.
I have chosen, I say yes to myself, I step up and follow through.
Growth causes discomfort. Reaching the place you want to be, becoming the version of you that you want to be means stepping into turbulence, disruption and resistance. How badly do you want it? Bad enough to sit in the discomfort and keep going to get through it?
I hope so. Say yes to yourself and keep saying yes. There will be hot showers at the end of the rainbow 😉
PS. I am developing my new course, Reconnect to your Inner Child and Heal the Wounds of a Lifetime. Details coming soon. I love this work, it’s one of my favourite things to do with clients and the response is amazing . So important for your health and well being to integrate your childhood psyche. I have written loads about this before but I’m putting together a brand new online course that will do as the title says, Reconnect you to your inner child and heal the wounds of a lifetime. Look out for more tomorrow