Yep. Not going to sugar coat it today.
If you’re having a bad day. That’s down to you.
Doesn’t matter what happens, catastrophe, disaster, destruction.
You choose how you feel.
I know, that’s a bit of an outrageous statement in view of what’s going on the world right now.
But truly, does worrying ever help?
And if the worst comes to pass, does wailing and crying about what happened and how unfair it all is help?
Look, I’m not immune to tragedy and sadness and grief.
I know there are horrors in this world that I can’t even imagine.
But is it happening to you? Is it happening right now?
If not, then shut the f*ck up about it.
If it is, then go take care of what you need to take care of and I hope it all works out for the best.
Because yes, even when things are awful, we can hope for the best.
And when things are going great we can hope for and expect them to get better.
Because it’s a choice. You can choose to see all the awful things in the world and despair.
Or you see those things and right alongside them, you see the little shoots of hope and change, signs of helpers, of life adapting and growing even in the face of adversity.
For example: One of the worse things that could happen to someone is to have acid thrown in their face. Such attacks are horrifyingly on the rise in India in recent years. What is truly wonderful is that there are many new support organisations and charities to help survivors adapt, recover and rehabilitate. You can read more about amazing their work here.
Same in nature, things can look awful, like life has ended for an area or a species but by some miracle, they can come back, the Black Rhino is case in point. Once so proliferate that even though they are solitary animals you could see 80 in one day, then in the 1970’s they were hunted down to just 70,000 in the world.
Then came the poachers, and by 1993 less than 2,500 were recorded.
Today, thanks to successful conservation and anti-poaching efforts, the total number of black rhinos has grown to around 5,000.
The absolute horror of nuclear disaster happened in Chernobyl, and yet 30 years later nature has found a way to survive: plants, animals and even some humans have made their home there and recent photo studies and drone footage show them living well. No-one knows whether the current population can weather the radiation nor for how long but in the absence of mass human activity, the wildlife is flourishing.
Are you facing extinction?
Are you facing nuclear disaster?
Do you have a roof over your head, food on the table, fresh running water?
If you are not facing a survival crisis then you have the freedom to choose how you feel about your day.
And you can choose to feel grumpy and miserable, to feel whiny and put upon, to feel hard done by and ‘poor ole me’ if that’s what you want.
But doesn’t that make you feel sh!t? And because you feel miserable, your thoughts get more so and you feel worse and down and down you spiral.
It doesn’t have to be like that.
You choose how you feel.
And even if you’re in the grips of depression or grief or sadness you can choose to feel differently.
Even if you’ve lost a loved one.
I know because I did. Last year, I lost my best friend, my dearest companion, the being who helped me through the lowest points of my life. (Because I wasn’t born knowing this stuff and I didn’t get my users manual until far too late)
And even though Reilly’s passing broke my heart into pieces, I still knew that my life was precious and everything was working out for the best.
Even in the depth of my sadness at his loss, I felt joy at having known him, having had this amazing, kind, wise teacher in my life.
We can recover from all sorts of illness and pain. Including mental health diagnoses.
But it takes daily discipline. A daily practice of every day affirming who we are, how we want to feel, be and show up in the world.
We think it takes a lot of work to be fit. It takes far more effort to walk around when your out of shape, unhealthy and unfit.
We baulk at the work it takes to be successful. But look how much effort it takes to avoid doing the work it takes to make things happen. Watching tv or playing games for hours on end, avoiding the internal nudges to get up and do something.
Same with mental and emotional health. It takes daily effort, choosing who we are going to be that day, how we feel, how we respond to what happens, holding onto the discipline of believing that everything works out for the best, that we are always taken care of, that we are enough and worthy of life, love, everything, just as we are.
There were tremendous earthquakes around the north of Japan in March 11 of 2011 and soon afterward, Tsunami also damaged everything on the coasts of Tohoku. After the immediate rescue efforts, interventions were largely directed towards the survivors suffering mental health problems. And as with the wider community, the efforts were directed to keeping good mental health and building resilience. Anything that supported strong connections with friends, family members, and caring adults, or being part of consistent community resources all helped.
Positive psychology is among the most important topics in health psychology and can be used to effectively improve people’s behaviors and practices when faced with a crisis or difficult situation. People with positive mindsets have several characteristics that make it easier for them to deal with difficult and disastrous situations. And you can adopt and strengthen those characteristics with in you.
We can come back from pain and disaster, from blistering defeat, just as the earth did in Chernobyl.
We can rebuild our internal resources and resilience.
It’s our choice.
To wail at the sky falling down or find shelter and wait for the storm to pass and give thanks for the rain as it washes the earth clean.
Because there is always today, and the day is what you make of it,
PS. Below you’ll learn more about how I can support you in your healing journey.
Think what would life be like if your thought processes were upgraded so you became unstoppable. What would life be like if you were able to step up and show up as that best ever version of you that you know you’re capable of?
Picture yourself thriving in life, developing an instinct for making the right choices, knowing in your gut you’re always choosing the correct thing for you.
Imagine any addictions, old anxiety and fear melting away, no longer influencing your thinking, your behaviour, your decisions. You are free to make better choices.
Think how it would feel achieving your goals with far less resistance, knowing you can melt resistance with the power and focus of your attention. You can do it, you have no fears about any of it anymore.
See yourself fully present and grounded, living with fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with zero regrets, able to handle anything that comes up as you fearlessly carve your own path forward.
Want this now? Check out this page and get in touch to get started on living your ideal life today. Or simply take the product tour to find out more.