Everyone is posting about resolutions, how to make good resolutions, how to make ones you’ll stick to (as if), and even whether or not its smart to make them at all.
After all less than 8% of people who make New Year’s Resolutions stick with them and follow through til they reach their goal.
But the desire to make changes is strong, especially when we are unhappy with aspects of our lives. And you’ll see lots of information on how to make changes and how to make those changes stick.
I’ve done it myself, and I’ll probably do so again because it’s what most of my clients want from me; the ability to make the ‘right’ change, the desired change, the change we want to have in our lives.
Let’s face it, we all desire some sort of change in our lives, whether we are rich or poor, young or old, in good health or ill, there are deep desires and unhappiness driving us all.
Some people think the answer to their life’s unhappiness is more money. I’d point to the desperately sad news that Melanie Panayiotou, George Michael’s sister took her own life at Christmas, 3 years after her brother had also decided to stop living with us. Money, talent, fame; they don’t hold the answers anymore than having youth, beauty, status, power, or a fancy car or house does.
However, change is a part of life, Always. Its guaranteed. Like taxes and death. You life, your circumstances will change and if you allow it, so will your thinking, your beliefs, your way of being.
But, how do you take control of that process of change and not live at the whim of outside forces? That’s the question we all want answered, isn’t it? How do you mould the changes that are coming into ones you welcome, embrace and are happy to accept and live into?
Here’s my answer. See everything as for your benefit and accept it all as for your good. Even if it feels wrong in this moment, if it feels restrictive, even hurtful, push yourself to seeing things as something that is happening for you not to you. Accept everything, every circumstance that comes to you as good for you.
Say to yourself in the face of perceived adversity, ‘This is good, this is good, this is good, this is good.’ And keep saying it over and over and over and then throw in a question, ‘How is this good?’ and allow your brain time to bring the answer to you. And it will because that’s its job.
And to make changes in your life that involve stopping old habits that no longer serve you, or starting new habits that are good for you, I would suggest that you think about the version of you that you want to be in 5, 10, 20 years time.
Picture that future you and have a conversation with them, look at the life they’re now living and see the wonderful aspects of how life has changed and improved for them and imagine them thanking you for having made that change here, now, today.
And when you’re tempted to backslide, to give in and fall back into those old patterns of behaviour, remember that this change isn’t just for you, its for that person you’re becoming, that future you.
And if you can’t do it for yourself, do it for them.