People have sometimes said that my belief that changing how you think changes your life is silly and describe how positive thinking is nothing more than a wilful refusal to accept reality.
And I agree with part of that. Willful refusal of reality is silly and positive thinking won’t change that by itself.
And that’s not what I advocate at all.
Here’s an old blog post from 2013 that shows I’ve been saying the same thing for a long time, even if I haven’t always been doing it myself.
According to the world’s leading neuroscience researcher, Mark Waldman, we live not from what we see in the world, but rather in the realities we invent in our frontal lobes. We live from our imaginings.
And in our brains, the positive and negative beliefs we hold are both active all the time. However we are programmed with a primal survival bias to pay more attention to the negative thoughts, feelings and beliefs.
Unfortunately, a negative belief system that might have helped you live longer in more primitive times actually harms you both neurologically and physically.
Whereas, a positive belief system helps your brain grow new dendrites and neuroconnections that improve your memory and adds 2 years to your life.
Yeah, you read that right, a positive belief system adds 2 years to your life! Makes the brain retraining worth the effort, right?
You can read more here. But the salient point is ‘We invent our reality.’
And we can choose what we invent.
I don’t advocate ignoring your reality. I suggest you take a good look at it and see what’s good about it and focus on that as well as paying attention to what you want.
Because truly, when you change your thinking, you can change your life.
Not by relentless optimism but by looking at your reality, appreciating that your past thinking got you there, understanding there were good reasons for thinking like that in your past but now?
Now you know better and you can do better and so you do.
By thinking in ways that serve you.
By taking the actions your new thoughts then suggest to you, action aligned with the end result you’ve been thinking about, focusing on, paying attention to.
And sure you might be feeling pain or discomfort or fear in your current circumstance but you choose to focus on love, on flow, staying in alignment with what you do want.
I’ve said it many times. Most people don’t know what they want.
Carl Jung said, ‘The gifts hide behind the wounds.’
The wounds can show you what you do want, that can be part of their gift.
For me, growing up in a violent and physically abusive home, the gift is that I now have created work I love showing people how they can accept and recover from similar or worse.
For me, having a nasty, contentious neighbour who went out of her way to try to make my life miserable gave me the gift of finally moving country, something I’d wanted to do but always put off for far too long.
Currently, I’m house sitting for my brother and he and his fiance have just returned to stay for six weeks. And she doesn’t like dogs and this has obviously created some tension in a house where Amelia usually has the run of the place.
The fact that my dog has been banished to the dining room or my bedroom has given me the gift of realising this was a great temporary solution but its time to find my own place and I’m currently working on a new product launch to allow me to buy the house I want.
So, while the current situation is not ideal, I’m making it work for me by thinking about where and how I want to live and then doing the work to make it happen.
This is not magic. I’m not advocating ‘The Secret’ like nonsense about thinking about your ideal life and somehow it will just appear.
What I am saying and is backed by science is that you see what you think. When you think about what you want, what do you think you’ll start seeing?
But you have to commit to it. You have to be all in.
Start using your thinking to aid you in life rather than hindering yourself.
Its always your choice. Your life, for good or bad, is up to you.
PS. Below you’ll learn more about how I can support you in your healing journey.
Think what would life be like if your thought processes were upgraded so you became unstoppable. What would life be like if you were able to step up and show up as that best ever version of you that you know you’re capable of?
Picture yourself thriving in life, developing an instinct for making the right choices, knowing in your gut you’re always choosing the correct thing for you.
Imagine any addictions, old anxiety and fear melting away, no longer influencing your thinking, your behaviour, your decisions. You are free to make better choices.
Think how it would feel achieving your goals with far less resistance, whether it’s earning an extraordinary income, being a rockstar in your business or career, or excelling in your personal relationships. You can do it, you have no fears about any of it anymore.
See yourself fully present and grounded, living with total fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with zero regrets, as you fearlessly carve your own path forward.
Want this now? Check out this page and get in touch to get started on living your ideal life today. Or simply take the product tour to find out more.