Stop Wearing Your Trauma as a Badge of Honour

Yikes! That’s a confronting title to start with, isn’t it?

But you know what I mean, don’t you?

I know I did it. For years after I was knocked down, when I met someone new, or indeed in pretty much any encounter with someone, I brought up the accident in our conversation. Almost always.

It became part of my identity. I was knocked down, I was badly hurt, I have other conditions caused by the stress of the aftermath, I lost my job, my dog nearly died, the driver wasn’t looking where she was going, she lied to the police about what happened.

There you go, that’s it encapsulated and that’s pretty much what I said to everyone, with more details and colour for years. And I wondered why I was still in pain? Why I got sicker and sicker?

Same with my childhood, as soon as I was old enough, and had moved away from home, the beatings and violence were mentioned almost casually to people.

Like most children from abusive homes, I had no boundaries and would tell almost strangers intimate details of the abuse I suffered.

So when I say stop wearing your trauma like a badge of honour, I know what I’m talking about. I was one of the walking wounded who bonded with others from my pain and hurt.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s the same with hypochondriacs, it almost becomes a competition doesn’t it? I have this and that. Well, I have that plus this other thing and this. All competing for the trophy for being the most sick person. All bonding with one another through their disease and ill health.

I used to go to a mental health drop in centre, run by people with depression and anxiety and other mental health issues for people with the same. And as I started feeling better through all the techniques and work I was doing on my personal healing, I of course wanted to share them with the other people there.

And they didn’t want to know. The reason most went to that place wasn’t to find help to feel better, but to find comfort in shared misery.

There is no badge of honour in your pain and trauma, likewise your current difficulties.

Its life. It’s hard sometimes, and sometimes it feels so hard that you don’t know how to get through it.

It’s important to find support and know that you’re not alone in what you’re facing.

But, it’s equally important not to get stuck in the ‘sharing the story of your misery stage’.

I wrote about this in the past too. No-one wants to hear you sad stories, everyone had got their own and if you go to a support group, yes, there’s the balm of sharing, that moment of ‘yes, I’ve felt like that, me too.’ But without encourage to moving onto a self healing pathway. we can get stuck in the sad story telling.

And when we keep repeating our troubles and pain, we perpetuate them.

This is why changing the way we think is so important. This is a learned pattern of thought, to always talk about how bad things are.

This can be changed.

And yes, you maybe lie to yourself at the start by telling yourself you’re great, but if you want to start feeling good, you’ve got to start by allowing the possibility into your thoughts.

RWID, the foundational tool in thought whispering, works by changing how you think so how you think serves you, works for you in healing and living a great life rather than staying stuck in pain and the past.

I’ve used it to help me though my life. My clients use it, it’s even saved some lives in my work. Including my own.

Whatever happened happened. No-one is saying its okay or to forget about it. What I’m saying is stop dwelling on it, change how you feel about what happened so you can become empowered by it rather than victimised by it.

I stopped talking about the accident, which is no longer ‘my accident’ about 18 months. And that’s the other thing, I no longer take ownership of shit that happens. It’s not my asthma, it’s the asthmatic symptoms I occasionally have. Same with anything I want to change, I don’t claim it, I depersonalise it.

Stop bonding with other people from pain. Try kindness, optimism, the sharing of redemption and recovery stories instead.

Changing how you think involves changing how you think all the time about everything.

That sounds overwhelming doesn’t it but how you think about one thing affects how you think about everything. Being low energy and depressed about your health will affect your work and you relationships and everything else in your life.

Guard your thinking. Use RWID to protect your thinking throughout every aspect of your life.

Life changes because you change.

That will involve welcoming new ways of thinking and being and showing up and equally letting go of other ways of being and thinking that no longer serve the person you want to be.

Change is going to happen. Direct it instead of being pushed into being who, and where you don’t want to be.

Love,

Cynthia xx

PS. Below you’ll learn more about how I can support you in your healing journey.

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