More of whatever you choose.
More misery if you choose to think that way.
More joy and expansion and possibility and opportunity if you choose to think that way.
For me, right now I’m focused on healing and there’s always more.
Some people, when they finish one of my programmes like ‘Change for Life,’ and I then invite them to continue working with me monthly, think I’m running some kind of scam. ‘But we’re done, 6 weeks right?’
We can be done there, of course.
But you won’t be done. Not with healing. Not with personal development. Not with doing the internal work.
This is a lifetime’s commitment.
There’s always more.
And if you embrace it, then it’s good.
It feels good every time something comes up because you know that means there’s another layer waiting to be cleared, processed, cleaned up and leave you feeling freer, cleaner, clearer.
Sure, it doesn’t feel good when it first comes up, you’ll feel contracted, you’ll retreat back to your old patterns, you’ll close in, isolate, distract, avoid and then you catch yourself.
You realise, whoops, there I go, falling backwards and you stop.
You recalibrate your emotional response, you figure out where the old belief is, what it is and you change it.
I’ve just been through this in the past few days with almost perfect synchronicity. You can catch up if you missed it here…
So, family are staying and that’s always a trigger for childhood patterns and pain. And my brother’s fiance threw a tantrum the other night with me and is now in the huffing and not speaking stage.
I happened to walk into the kitchen when she was there last night and it was if there was a wall between us, and I was shaking because it took me back to being a defenceless little girl tiptoeing round her father’s mood after he’d beaten her, scared to speak in case it set off his temper again.
And I promised myself I would never be powerless and defenceless again.
I went for a walk because I honestly didn’t know what to do, I was in the pattern of avoidance, isolating myself to stay safe. As I walked, I realised what I was doing and that helped me start to think clearly. I needed solutions that worked because hiding is not a strong strategy for harmony and self respect.
Of course a discussion was clearly needed, boundary setting for each of us to ensure we respected each other’s beliefs, culture and needs. But when you’re frightened, it’s hard to initiate that discussion. And what is at stake is my home and my relationship with my brother.
So, high stakes.
No wonder the traumatised child inside of me had stepped in. She’d been through this for years and she had her strategy. Hide, avoid, don’t speak. Don’t do anything to attract attention.
As an adult, I’m well aware that doesn’t work well and it’s not how I want to live.
Once I got home, I promised myself that I would speak to both of them and clear the air but they’d gone out. I wasn’t the only one practising childish tactics.
Later, I spoke to my brother that we needed to have a discussion, that this couldn’t continue and I wouldn’t live like this. So, at least the ground had been broken.
Next is the discussion and my stomach still felt a bit squirmy thinking about it.
In my meditation and superconscious dialogue this morning, I asked to heal deeper, to connect deeper to source and act from love and compassion because there’s obviously more than me hauling around a dose of trauma.
I then pictured my eight year old self in my mind and spoke with her. Made sure she felt safe, confident and secure with what I was doing and that she was allowing me to take control and sort this situation out for us. And she was, and behind her I could see all different versions of me at all stages of childhood and they were all feeling safe, secure and ready to relinquish their fears and allow me to take care of them. In fact, they were running outside to play in the house I envisage me buying in the next year or so.
Wow, was that powerful. I felt close to tears, it was so emotional, so powerful and freeing.
As I often say when talking to my clients, we have these hooks that tie the past to us, anchors that weigh us down and hold us back.
Imagine releasing all of that. How much energy do we use in holding ourselves back? Now you can use it to propel you forward.
It is so amazing to free yourself from the past, so empowering to take control of what’s happening in your life and allow yourself to see different possibilities, to recognise your triggers and say no, not today, today I choose to come from all of me, not that scared, powerless little part of who I once was.
And every day, you feel stronger. more able to do so. Strong in your faith that you can take care of you, that you are able to trust yourself to do what’s right for you as you are now, the life you lead as an adult. And not allow a traumatised child to wreak havoc because they don’t know any better.
That’s why the work I do is so powerful, as one of my clients recently said:
I would not be here had you not guided and coached me along the way. Maybe for the first time ever I have felt happy with who I am and worthy of admiration and even love. I have shaken off the shackles of domineering parents and ill advised coping skills. I have stood on my feet and said to those I know that I am happy with the guy I am. I am not happy with whom I was but I am not going to be punished or punish myself any longer.
The wisdom you have brought the tools you have taught me have become armoury to manage and cope with days when things are tough and better still to make good days better.
This is the work. Its every day. There’s no miracle cure, no magic pill.
But you get to own yourself again. You get to claim the truth of yourself, the absolute fucking wonder of you. All of you as a person of value, worthy of love, especially your own love, which is your birthright.
We maybe didn’t all have great parents but they were doing the best they could. Just as we’re all doing the best we can with what we’ve got.
Make sure you’re doing your best and keep getting better and better.
Because you can. That’s available to you. It always has been. More and more you.
All you have to do is go where many fear to go…inside of yourself.
And you can. Because there’s nothing in there more scary than what you’ve already been through.
Gather your courage, fire up your determination, and breathe. And then reconnect to yourself.
Because you deserve to live as a whole person. We all do. Imagine a world where we all are all of us!
That’s paradise, right?
PS. Below you’ll learn more about how I can support you in your healing journey.
Think what would life be like if your thought processes were upgraded so you became unstoppable. What would life be like if you were able to step up and show up as that best ever version of you that you know you’re capable of?
Picture yourself thriving in life, developing an instinct for making the right choices, knowing in your gut you’re always choosing the correct thing for you.
Imagine any addictions, old anxiety and fear melting away, no longer influencing your thinking, your behaviour, your decisions. You are free to make better choices.
Think how it would feel achieving your goals with far less resistance, whether it’s earning an extraordinary income, being a rockstar in your business or career, or excelling in your personal relationships. You can do it, you have no fears about any of it anymore.
See yourself fully present and grounded, living with total fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with zero regrets, as you fearlessly carve your own path forward.
Want this now? Check out this page and get in touch to get started on living your ideal life today. Or simply take the product tour to find out more.