I used to love that question, ‘What would Elvis do?’
If I was stuck in a situation where I felt small, insecure and invisible I would try to put myself in the shoes of the swaggering, astonishingly talented Mr Presley and imagine what would happen for him in those circumstances. Of course, doors would be opened, red carpets rolled out with a lot of bowing and scraping, not to mention screaming and hysteria.
I got the game wrong.
It wasn’t how the other people would respond to Elvis, which would of course be very different to how they responded to me, but it was about embodying the spirit of the undeniable charisma and charm of Elvis myself.
Never could do that. And as I got older and trained in psychology and neuroscience I realised that even people like Elvis had their insecurities and anxieties. He was able to hide behind his entourage but nobody eats and uses drink and drugs like that if they’ve living life without neuroses.
WWED (What would Elvis do?) became What Would Madonna do?
There’s a woman who knows no insecurity, right?
And yet I recently read an interview when she talked about her move to Portugal to be with her youngest son as he went to a soccer training school there and how isolated, alone and insecure she felt.
Wow. Not even Madonna is bullet proof. Or rather anxiety proof.
Today, as I know myself and the human condition better, I ask myself what would a wise woman do?
Of course, first you have to define wise. What does wise mean to you?
For me, it’s not about knowing it all, although intelligence is obviously a part of it. It’s more about that ability to stay calm, still, at peace in the face of mounting chaos and find a way to what is the best solution for myself and the other people involved.
It’s also fun to think that the qualities you admire and are drawn to in others are inherent in oneself.
So that modest charm, the incredible charisma and sense of fun I always see when I think of Elvis? In me!
The determination, the fuck you, I’m going for it against all odds and the absolute self belief, not to mention the incredible will of Madonna? In me too!
Actually, I would love it I saw them as clearly in me as I see those qualities in my heros, maybe they’re there but in hiding. How do I bring them out?
Well, that takes a decision doesn’t it?
To decide; to choose to live from those qualities, from the idealism of who I aspire to be rather than the person life experience molded me into.
And we can change, We can live into those ideal qualities, we can return to our truth.
All we have to do is decide.
Ask ‘What would a wise woman/man do?’
Would would the wise/ideal version of me do?
This starts with awareness, as usual. Become aware of the qualities you want to embody and display as you go through life. And then choose to live from them, to be them.
Do not bow to the critical voice within that will do everything it can to undermine your efforts to change, to keep you small, scared and living the safe day over and over again.
You are more than that.
You have within you all the traits of the magnificent people you admire.
Equally, you have all the traits of the people you despise.
Who you are, which traits you display, the personality to adopt – its a choice!
We choose the learned behaviour model because it’s what we grew up with, it’s what we know and familiarity is safety. It’s not really, its survival nothing more than that. But that’s what we’re programmed for; to survive.
You want more than that. We all do.
When you’re faced with a situation that makes you uncomfortable, Take a beat, pause and make it a quest, an opportunity to explore the truth in the moment. Is it really scary? Or is that simply a learned response to the emotions you’re feeling? Do you need to react the way you were just about to, or are there other choices available?
Unfortunately, the part of the mind that wants us to live the same day over and over again also wants to control everything in our environment, so we keep living the same day over and over again.
And when we try to control things external to us we create friction and pushback which creates anger and frustration and so we flare into stress and flight or fight again.
Living out groundhog day leads to decay. Decay of our very selves, our minds, bodies and soul.
Know yourself. Who are you really. The list of traits you got from your childhood learnings or the qualities that are contained within your heart?
What is artificial? What is learned? What is not real?
What is not you?
There’s an old Zen saying ‘Knowing others is intelligence, Knowing yourself is wisdom.’
Start opening your mind. Unlearn your biases. Drop the judgments and prejudices you adopted to fit in.
Look within and ask who am I really?
Can you divine what’s always been there?
Who are you?
The answer is allowed to change, every day. Multiple times a day.
Who are you?
The best or the worst of what’s inside of you?
It’s always your choice.
Decide who you’re going to be and play from there.
Because life is yours, you decide whether its a diamond or a piece of coal.
Both are always available.
Both are yours.
PS. I’m reworking everything I do to create a monthly group program where people come together once a week to grow, share, learn, laugh, cry, support and be supported. I have no idea what its going to look like yet but I do know that my 1:1 work will reduce and become much more expensive.
So if you want to get in before the prices lep up, do so now. Because come the end of March, I’ll be launching my as yet unnamed group program and putting 1:1 work on the back burner. I truly think I can serve more people better in this way.
I love my 1:1 work and am gladly accepting client registration right now -but only if you’re the right fit. If you’re ready to invest in yourself and move forward faster, gaining greater insight and self knowledge that you ever had before,get in touch. To see if that’s you, listen to the audio on this page and take the next step. Can’t wait to hear from you.