‘Self love is self care.’ My teacher said and I thought, hmm, what exactly is self care?
We care take care of ourselves in ways both deep and superficial, from a 2 week long silent retreat to a bubble bath. From both examples and everything around and in between, its all been labelled self care.
What actually is self care, is it all self love and what does that mean and how do we know if we’re doing self care right?
First, all self care is self love, all of it, from the bubble bath, to the silent retreat, IF and only IF it’s your thing and makes you feel good. And we need to look beyond what’s easy and nice to feel good. Challenging ourselves and overcoming a long held limiting belief is self care, so maybe a chatterbox like me could benefit from a silent retreat.
For me, self love and self care require daily actions, a discipline that involves meditation and journaling is my bedrock. Supplement this with making good food choices, daily fresh air and exercise, time in nature, reading books and articles that expand my knowledge and awareness of the universe and challenge my capacity to understand and integrate that new wisdom and I have amazing days filled with learning, love, hope and positivity.
But its not always so good, because I don’t always practice my daily practice and I do some things that contradict all the good stuff I do.
At the end of last year, ( yes, 3 days ago! 🙂 ) I realised that I needed to switch off the news. I was obsessed, reading alerts first thing in the morning, reading news reports throughout the day and getting worked up, aggravated, incensed sometimes about the headlines.
I believe our news service whether online, on tv or in print has degenerated to an anxiety inducing, money making, fear building scheme to keep us all hopelessly distracted from finding solutions to the problems we face individually and collectively.
But for this post, the most important feature of the news is that it is anxiety inducing. And anxiety is the opposite of self care. That’s why I’m switching off the news.
Anxiety is the fear of what might happen, its a future based psychological issue that steals your present, takes away your peace of mind and can devour you whole.
Loving yourself negates anxiety.
With anxiety, we cling to false comforts and routines; if we do this then maybe that won’t happen and if I don’t do that, then the worst definitely won’t happen.
And so life gets smaller and smaller as we play safe and the future, all those unknown and unknowable possibilities of what might happen, scare us into making it smaller still.
Self love is living a big life, living in freedom. Freedom from fear, freedom from anxiety. Having the freedom to welcome those unknown, unknowable possibilities, believing they can only be amazing and for your highest good. Freedom to live into all the opportunities that present themselves to you.
Doesn’t that sound more inviting than living in fear? Imagine your big life. What does that expansion in how you live look like to you? And what does it feel like?
Picture it – and put yourself into the picture. And then feel it, the enthusiasm and thrill of being free to choose what you want without fear of that unknown, instead, in its place there’s excitement, and butterflies in your belly at stepping into that space and allowing it to unfold before you, to discover all the secrets, all the possibilities, everything you want, here and now.
How do you open yourself up to this sense of possibility unfolding for you?
Love yourself in all the ways you can and push yourself to love yourself a bit more every day. Love the parts of you that you think are unloveable, love the parts of you that you may have been told to change, tone down, dilute.
Love yourself so much that you are excited to see who you are in the shining light of this love, and who you might become as this lovelight stays focused on you.
Love who you are now and all the possibilities of who you might one day be. Love your circumstances as they are now, for they have made you as you currently are and love the opportunities that now come to you and all the changes they will bring.
Self love overcomes fear and where fear has been overcome there is trust and when you trust, you have faith and when you have faith, you can do anything.
PS. I am relaunching ‘Loving Yourself Comes First’ in mid January, date to be confirmed. This course is going to blow you wide open to love, to knowing yourself and caring for yourself and putting your needs first.
21 days of video, audio, articles, journaling and hypnomeditations to get over your doubts and fears and reconnect back to you.
And if you say, I can’t possibly do that, I have to look after this and that and them first. Let me tell you, you’ll look after them better once you’ve done this course because you’ll have learned how to take care of your needs, and be free then to give them more of what’s left.
Loving Yourself Comes First – You know it’s true. Pm me if you’re interested and I’ll follow up with more details.