Eeny meeny miny moe…
I always used to do that when presented with a difficult choice.
By difficult choice, I mean whether I wanted apple pie or lemon meringue (my two most favourite desserts). Or whether to buy the leopard print shoes or the red ones.
I’d usually end up with a dessert I enjoyed regardless which one I picked and both pair of shoes.
And in such circumstances, we can always change our mind. There’s no real repercussions to such flim-flaming.
But other choices do have consequences, both for ourselves and other people.
We can change our mind about pretty much anything. Maybe you once wanted to be with Boy A but now you don’t.
Fine. Finish with him and move on.
Maybe you really wanted that purple flocked wallpaper in your bedroom and now its up its overpowering and giving you a headache. Change it. No problem.
And sometimes we didn’t want something but now we do. That might be harder to deal with.
Say if, once you see Boy A with another girl, you decide you want him again. Might not happen. You can change your mind about wanting something or someone but you don’t always get what you want if you previously decided it wasn’t for you, especially when other people are involved.
You can change your mind and make different choices about pretty much everything in your life.
The choices you make in the moment might not stick though. For various reasons but the predominate one is if the thing you want is outside of your normal programming and patterns of thought and behaviour.
That’s when you find that you forget you choose to leave Boy A because he was stifling your dreams of being independent and working towards being a doctor or vet or famous instagram influencer, or whatever. You commit to working on your ambition and yet, you don’t.
You fall back into doing the things you always did and nothing changes and you go back to being the old you and having Boy A around was part of that old identity so you want him back.
But that desire to be a brilliant doctor or vet or influencer or whatever? It’s still there inside of you, you just ignore it, bury it, deny it because you don’t know what to do about it, how to make it happen. Its too big, too difficult. It’s not for you.
Changing your mind is easy. Changing your Mindset is a whole other thing. But when you change your mindset, you change those old programmes. Your way of thinking, acting and believing what you’re capable of creating for yourself changes. You simply have to decide what you want and commit to it.
Changing your Mindset
This a completely different thing. It’s a daily practice. But first you have to decide.
Decide what it is you want to change. Let’s go back to the desserts. I used to eat cakes, biscuits, chocolate and bread all the time. I craved chocolate especially. Sugar is a drug, make no mistake about that and its as dangerous and addictive as many of the proscribed ones, it just kills you more slowly.
Anyway, anti -sugar rant over – I ate all the sweet stuff all the time. And it took its toll on my health and my figure. And I just couldn’t seem to stop eating it. I’d manage to stop for a while and then I’d have a ‘treat’ and be right back to eating heavily processed sugary food as a major part of my diet again.
Until I decided that was not who I was any longer. I choose to be a person who just doesn’t eat crap, and especially not sugar or any heavily processed foods. That’s not who I am. I decided.
And every day, I lived into being that next level version of myself. I did the work, self hypnosis, journaling about being fit, healthy, lean and toned, I had affirmations I said throughout the day and I changed.
I stopped craving this kind of food. My house can have bread and biscuits and cake and even chocolate in it now and I don’t even notice. I may take a piece of chocolate one in a while, but I don’t sit and eat a whole bar and then wonder where it went! And worse, want more.
I changed my mindset and that changed my identity. I am now someone who is not in thrall to chocolate and sugar. Instead I think of myself as someone who eats healthfully most of the time and enjoys an occasional dessert when I feel like it.
Same with building a career or a business. If you want to make it happen and be successful, you have to commit to it every day. You get up and renew your commitment, you decide this is what I want and align yourself mentally and emotionally with making it happen.
But sometimes, even with all that, it still doesn’t happen. That’s when we can give up and fall back, allowing frustration and hurt to discourage us from acting on our dreams and hopes and ambitions.
Why doesn’t it happen?
Because we have inner resistance. We have deeper programmes that the daily affirmations and act of commitment aren’t reaching. It will, it takes time sometimes, this is where persistence and perseverance are our friends.
But we human beings are impatient and especially in today’s superfast, next day and even same day delivery world, we want everything we want NOW.
What to do? Go deeper.
Keep going deeper. Commit harder. Double down on your efforts. Decide again. this is who I am. Step into that new identity as often as it takes until it takes.
Self hypnosis, journaling, hiring a coach, joining groups and programmes that your mentors and teachers share with you.
If you really want the thing you say you want? You allow nothing to get in your way, including yourself!
Because the only thing that can stop you is you.
Change your thinking and you change your life. Everything you want in the outside world starts within. And it starts with loving yourself.
Love yourself enough to commit to your dreams and hopes, to bringing your ambitions and goals to life.
When you change how you think, you’ve changed your mindset.
You’ve adopted a new identity.
You are always adopting identities, make sure they are the ones you want.
And if they’re not what you want, if that identity is not who you want to be. Change it.
Love,
Cynthia xx
PS. Below you’ll learn more about how I can support you in your healing journey.
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Picture yourself thriving in life, developing an instinct for making the right choices, knowing in your gut you’re always choosing the correct thing for you.
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See yourself fully present and grounded, living with fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with zero regrets, able to handle anything that comes up as you fearlessly carve your own path forward.
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