Don’t we all long to be taken care of?
For all our problems and worries to be resolved, the future laid out, secure, safe, certain.
When I’m at my most insecure, feeling the most fearful, that’s all I want. To be rescued, protected, nurtured, warm, loved and held fast and strong.
But even as I write that I recognise how quickly that can become a cage.
My twin values that drive most of my decisions are Safety and Freedom.
The need for safety is often driven by fear, hence the wanting certainty for the future. To have it all laid out, mapped out in stone tablets, a written guarantee of what life will be from now til the end.
Human beings can get used to anything. The history of humanity is strewn with examples of slavery, concentration camps, refugee camps that show us that.
What we can’t tolerate though is uncertainty. It’s why we rush to decision, why our subconscious keeps running the same patterns over and over.
Stay the same. Stay here. Don’t take risks. Don’t change.
And yet there’s nothing freeing about that.
Freedom is having the space to change, to decide in the moment that you’re going to be this, do that, feel something else.
Freedom can be cancelled out by the need for safety. And when that happens for long enough, we have two choices,
To shut down, to crawl into an ever smaller and smaller comfort zone or break out of it.
And the people who are happiest, who live those big, bold lives we all admire? They break out of their comfort zone regularly, pushing back their safety zone boundaries so they can be all of who they were born to be.
How do you become comfortable with uncertainty?
One of my first hypnotherapy mentors, Marisa Peer, talks about making the familiar unfamiliar and the unfamiliar familiar.
Essentially its getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.
And for me there’s only one way to do that.
Disregard current circumstance and focus on the ideal outcome you want, your desired end result.
When you focus on what you want in the face of all contrary evidence, fear and anxiety you send a signal to your subconscious that you won’t accept the status quo anymore. You will not be scared into staying put, being small, invisible, unseen in the world, you are no longer accepting of whatever aspect of living you’re pushing back your boundaries.
Stay in the discomfort, acknowledge its scary and uncomfortable and yet there’s comfort to be had in imagining your desired end result.
Make your imagination the place you see more often than the current circumstances that would keep you stuck.
People have changed their lives in amazing ways, simply by holding on to the belief they could, even in the face of insurmountable evidence.
Drug addicts become healthy living, yoga and meditation gurus – Russell Brand is a great example of how someone can turn their life around completely from the inside out.
And if one person can do it. You can.
Don’t let that unconscious need for safety keep you in miserable circumstances.
That is not taking care of yourself.
Taking care of yourself is loving yourself enough, trusting yourself to know everything is going to work out for the best.
That’s all you need to do. Trust yourself. Trust the impulse to create. Trust the desire to say hello, to help, to serve.
Trust yourself to know what’s good for you. Invest in yourself. Train in trusting your instincts, turning up the volume on your intuition and self belief.
You can make good decision. Sure, you’ll make mistakes and that’s okay. We all do, when we break out of our cages. But better to make a mistake than never to make an attempt.
Happiness, as they say, is an inside job.
So is a true sense of safety, because it only comes from trusting yourself and being free. When you can live trusting yourself, you’ll always be safe.
PS. I’m reworking everything I do to create a monthly group program where people come together once a week to grow, share, learn, laugh, cry, support and be supported. I have no idea what its going to look like yet but I do know that my 1:1 work will reduce and become much more expensive.
So if you want to get in before the prices lep up, do so now. Because come the end of March, I’ll be launching my as yet unnamed group program and putting 1:1 work on the back burner. I truly think I can serve more people better in this way.
I love my 1:1 work and am gladly accepting client registration right now -but only if you’re the right fit. If you’re ready to invest in yourself and move forward faster, gaining greater insight and self knowledge that you ever had before,get in touch. To see if that’s you, listen to the audio on this page and take the next step. Can’t wait to hear from you.