Going deeper in my own work has led to me working more with men. Why?

My work is informed by my own healing – how could it not be? My journey from unconscious, total unawareness of the wounds I carried through life and how I recovered make up the basis of the work I do with clients.

Because I learned through years of research, trial and error and experiencing my own results what works some of the time, what works most of the time and eventually I was able to gather together a tool kit. A suite of tools that means I am never stuck in a downward spiral for more than a day or two.

And I’ve used those tools with clients and proven my system over and over again, taking people from frustrated and unhappy with life to feeling in control of their emotional, mental and physical health.

And I love my work. I love watching people realise their past defined their actions, thoughts and beliefs and it no longer has to, and when they finally allow themselves to be who they were always meant to be – wow! Its powerful and moving and so inspiring.

Every one of my clients makes me feel so humble and honoured to be a witness to their strength and determination in challenging their inner beliefs and setting themselves free.

Alongside every client, I learn and grow and share that learning in a feedback loop that informs my work and the results we all get.

And last year I had a couple of clients that really challenged me because they were so ready to learn and grow and I watched them take the work in front of them and live it, change from the inside out at a fundamental level and it made me realise that I’d been coasting for a while.

I hadn’t leveled up, I’d plateaued and this need to grow created some conflict in my life. I experienced some real difficult periods last year that had nothing to do with Covid but had everything to do with me healing deeper.

Family drama and arguments, stuff that brought up my childhood wounds and those childhood protective patterns that don’t work when we’re adults. I was right back in it all and every time I worked with a client I felt like a fraud because they were doing so well and I was struggling.

And then I realised this was just more healing to do. And once I stopped fighting it and accepted it, I was able to start the process again and heal even deeper.

Because things keep coming around. The same old, same old. There’s always something that we repeat. It could be a family drama, money problems, relationship issues. Sometimes one of those things, sometimes, if you’re very unlucky, all of them.

And each time it comes up is an invitation to heal deeper.

And the people I worked with this year were mostly men and they held me to a higher standard than I felt with women, again maybe a childhood pattern (of course!) They wanted their full transformation and nothing else would do.

But it wasn’t on me, they weren’t passively expecting me to effect their change, they threw themselves into the work, into reading, into embodying the change they wanted and delivering to themselves the results they craved.

Yes, they craved the changes they were pursuing.

They’d had a lifetime of feeling shitty, not good enough, of using unhealthy props to numb their feelings, anonymous, meaningless sexual encounters, pornography, alcohol, gambling and a lifetime of suppressed anger and fear.

Working with them I realised just how misunderstood men and women were in their dealings with each other, mostly because of the dire patriarchal gender roles that are so restrictive for us all. And little by little I uncovered my own biases, and of course they all stemmed from those same childhood wounds.

Most of which came from a man unable to process his emotions and instead staying in anger almost all the time.

I read a great description of someone else’s father recently that perfectly described our house,  in that everyone tiptoed round my Dad in an effort not to trigger an explosion. We all walked on eggshells all day every day, can you imagine the stress of that?

I’ll bet some of you can very easily because you lived something similar yourself. And that affects how you show up in your life, in your relationships. We need to heal from our childhoods and when we do, we heal our current lives in ways we could never have imagined.

But also in working with a couple of men last year I realised that the gender roles that are so rigidly enforced in our society do so much damage to them too.

And its men who, because they learned emotions are bad, that feelings are not manly, that expressing themselves in any other than a hyper masculine way is wrong, its these men who ‘snap’ and are killing and maiming and hurting women and killing themselves in ever greater numbers.

Helping men helps women.

And so I’ve created ‘Being a Better Man’ and I’m so proud of this program. Based on all my own healing but also revised through the filter of the men I’ve worked with last year. This works, I’ve had men say they feel unrecognisable to themselves in a good way, feeling like an adult, being an adult in their relationships for the first time in their lives.

Instead of reacting to events like a child, lashing our in anger and fear, they are able to think about what’s happening around them and see that often what’s going on is not about them but about the other person’s trauma and lack of self awareness.

These men are almost unrecognisable as the same person they were when they started this work.

Why? Because they’ve stopped wearing masks, they’ve stopped hiding behind roles and expectations and are being themselves in a confident, secure and totally male way that is strong and sure and protective and has none of the anger, fear and powerlessness they used to live in.

Of course I’m still going to be working with women but I’ve discovered I love working with men too. And that’s my growth and I am so appreciative of it.

Being a Better Man, all the details are here https://cynthiacurry.uk/change-for-life/best-self-best-life-live-the-experience-of-being-your-best-self-every-day/

If you are or know a man who needs this, schedule your strategy call and let’s see if this is right for you.



Being a Better Man! All the Time.

No Matter What!

We human beings are the most marvelous creatures! We dream of the impossible and fight hard to bring it to life. We believe that we can make anything happen. We can build empires, and even more importantly live a life that matters to us and others.

We have this burning intensity within us that insists on being alive no matter what, despite how much we may be suffering.

But we become obsessed with success. Even before starting a project, we’re already anxious for the results. We live for the future. We’ve become addicted to it.

However when you focus on your actions, instead of the results, it can make all the difference in your life. What you intend to do doesn’t matter, it’s what you do that makes things happen.

And actions start within, from your thoughts and feelings.

How can you bring your best to what you’re doing? How do you show up as your Best Self more of the time?

Best Self, Best Life – Live the experience of being your best self every day

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