Look, I get it. I used to think the same way. You wake up and you’re either in a good mood or a bad one.
And you go through the day and something happens, you stub your toes, the heel comes off your shoe, you step in dog muck, you burn your tongue on hot coffee or tea, you end up late for work, or that meeting, or the appointment you really wanted to impress at, and you get frazzled, annoyed at yourself and stressed.
In no time at all you’re snarling, snapping and even shouting obscenities at yourself, even if only in your mind and you’re generally being an unpleasant pain in the ass that no-one wants to be around.
Bad days just happen, right?
And good days are like rainbow hued unicorns, they rarely comes along but when they do, they’re magical, unrepeatable, a joyous mystical alignment of circumstances and happenings that cannot be engineered to reoccur.
They just happen, right?
And yes, that’s true.
Good days and bad days do happen to us. But they happen to us when we believe we have no power in our lives, when we think we have no other choice over how we feel, how we think, how we react to what happens around us.
And for me, the worst feeling in the world is powerlessness.
Its worse than anything. Because it’s such a strong trigger for me, instantly making me a frightened little girl in front of a father about to be physically and verbally violent. There’s no power as a child when you have parents whose own beliefs, insecurities and feelings of inadequacy demand they dominate and control the lives of their children.
That feeling of powerlessness is one I went out of my way to avoid for much of my adult life. I could pretend I had the power so long as no-one forced me to see I had none. (I really was blind to my own truths back then) I became a people pleaser, doing anything I could to avoid conflict of any kind, just to never feel powerless again.
I never knew that I always had my own power, and that I was constantly giving it away. I didn’t allow myself to feel the constant and continuous diminishing of my self respect, self compassion and self belief.
Until eventually, as is sometimes the case, I pushed myself too far, tried to accept too much disrespect, abuse, whatever. I had asked myself to compromise too much and I realised I wanted to stand up for myself, stand up for that little girl who still lived in my heart. I finally wanted to roar, to make the world shake from releasing my power.
And the power wasn’t to dominate and control as I’d seen it used in my childhood.
No, that wasn’t my power. My power was to stand by myself, for myself and do as I wanted, BE as I wanted to be. To show up in the world and make my life matter.
And all I needed to do was allow what was in my heart and soul free, released into the world. All the ‘too sensitive,’ ‘too bossy,’ ‘know-it-all,’ ‘show-off’ energy I’d been shamed for, the natural urge every child has to express themselves and ask for recognition of who they are, ask for approval, love, appreciation.
I couldn’t go back in time and ask my parents to give me what I needed, they simply didn’t know how or they would have done it then. They did their best with what they had. And the past is the past. Its done.
Instead, I learned to give myself what I needed; the love, appreciation, recognition, approval. I gave that to myself. I reviewed the moments of my life where I’d been mistreated, misled, lied to, abused and I forgave myself for blaming myself for any of it.
I forgave myself for not standing up for myself. I didn’t know how to then, I’d been taught to submit, to cower, to capitulate in the face of dominant, domineering opposition, I simply didn’t know how to be any different.
I looked at how I’d been at the mercy of thoughts that had victimised me, I examined how I allowed myself to be folded up into a ball, pushed into a corner and whipped and harangued by my inner critic.
And I decided I’d had enough of that sh!t too. I’m done with beating myself up. Done with it. Over it. Now.
I learned how to manage my thinking. How to every day decide the person I’m going to be that day, decide how I’m showing up in the world, in my work, in my life.
And I do that work every day. And every day is a good day.
And sure, sometimes I stub my toe or step in dog dirt or burn my tongue on my tea and get stressed, frazzled and annoyed. But then I catch myself giving all my power away to this circumstance and I choose to think differently.
I return to myself. Empowered. Feeling great about myself.
Because that’s who I am, the person I want to be.
Every day I choose to live as the best version of myself that I can be and every day I get a little better at doing so.
And while I don’t see unicorns every day, I know they’re playing close by.
PS. If you’ve been stuck, feeling like you’ve been living the same day over and over and its no fun anymore, if you’ve fought weight issues, depression, anxiety, addiction, or simply a feeling of general dissatisfaction with how your life is unfolding for you, and you feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked. It’s natural to feel that a solution is almost impossible.
That’s part of what keeps the problem in place.
But real lasting change is possible.
Think how it would feel achieving your goals with far less resistance, whether it’s dropping excess weight, gaining freedom from depression and anxiety, being a rockstar in your business or career, or excelling in your personal relationships. You can do it, you have no fears about staying stuck and not moving forward anymore.
See yourself fully present and grounded, living with total fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with no regrets, as you carve your own path forward, moving forward always forward, no looking back .
Want this now? Check out this page and get in touch to get started on living your ideal life today.