Resolutions are rubbish, do this instead…

I used to love New Year Resolutions, probably because I’m a list lover. I love a good list. I start a new shopping list immediately I get home from the supermarket from my last trip!

And I’ve loved making out lists since I was a child so when I learned about New Year Resolutions, I imagine I was as high as a giddy kite.

I would spend days making out lists of all the things I’d want to be different in my life, listing all my flaws, all the things wrong with me and then I would write out a list of things to do to correct those flaws and that epic piece of work would become my resolutions list.

And yes, its kinda obvious I didn’t grow up in a warm, nurturing environment but rather in a critical, hostile one.

But anyway, Resolutions. I loved them. Over the years I did drop the listing of my many flaws and just went straight to listing all the things I was going to do differently. Of course, these things were all designed to correct my now unlisted flaws! Just because they weren’t written down on paper didn’t mean I’d forgotten about them.

And over time, it took a while, but eventually I started to realise I was listing the same things year after year.

Nothing changed, or if it did, it didn’t change that much that I could hand on my heart say to you now, ‘Do your NYE Resolutions – they work!’

Because they don’t. Most of us forget about them within a matter of days.

So what can you do?

Well first, focus on just one thing. There’s a good reason for this, you can read more about it here…

Just focus on one thing. what is the one thing you really, really, really want to have happen? The one thing that must change in your life and if you get that, well anything else would be gravy, right?

Because many of us do what I used to do and run acritical eye over our whole life and write down everything we want to be different. That’s just going to overwhelm you, make you feel miserable and then you’ll give up ever faster.

So focus on one thing.

Got it? Great. That’s it. Focus on only that one thing and remind yourself every day about what you want and, this is really important… feel good about it.

Another way to look at it is to give yourself a more general focus for the year, so rather than focusing on a specific change you want in your attitude or habits, think more of a theme for the year.

A few years ago, I decided to start creating a motto for my year, I can’t claim credit for this, I got it from someone else although I can’t remember whom. One year I found a random motto generator online and used that and it came up with ‘I’ve got this!’ and I thought that was a crazy, empowering phrase, one that encouraged me, showed me that no matter what life threw at me I could handle it. I’ve got this!

I kept that for a couple of years because I was going through a few challenges and I liked the idea that I could overcome anything life put in front of me until I realised that there was always something in front of me I had to overcome. My motto had actually become an attractor for challenges.

Fuck that!

I want my like to be a fun, easy adventure, That old motto no longer fit. In fact, it was actually working against me and what I wanted.

So now, I’ve come up with a motto that makes me feel great every day and I’m adopting it as my 2021 theme of the year. And it is ‘What would I like to have happen?’

Every morning when I wake up, I say ‘thank you’ and then I ask myself the question, ‘What would I like to have happen today?’

And I answer that question before I stir, before I reach for my glasses to rise and get on with the day.

‘What would I like to have happen today?’

Can you feel the joy, pleasure and excitement that question creates? I feel it in my belly and it moves up to put a big smile on my face.

‘What would you like to have happen today?’

And it could be as simple as having snow fall and the world outside your window blanketed in that curious quiet and stillness that snow brings.

Or it might be that you receive an unexpected gift of some kind, or that you have a good hair day, that everything goes smoothly in your work presentation, that you sign up a new client or the program you’re working on flows easily and is so good, people can’t wait to hand over their money for it.

What would you like to have happen today?

The more you focus on what you want with joyful, positive feelings, the better your chances of bringing it into your reality.

Is that not a terrific way of creating your new life, by becoming magnetised to what you want and making yourself feel good every day?

If nothing else, it feels much better than the almost inevitable Resolution Regret!

And my friend and colleague, Lori Hammond, shared a fab way of anchoring that thought, a self hypnosis that’s incredibly easy for you to do.

 Install your word.

Again, this is easier than you think.

Close your eyes and let your body relax.

Say, “My word of the year is _____. Unconscious mind, will you keep this word at the front of my mind in 2021? Please help me remember ____”

Then just pretend it worked!

Trust your unconscious to make it happen.

Bonus points for writing your word down and sticking it in your sock drawer.

You may forget to consciously look at it…

…and your unconscious notices it every time you grab socks.

Every time you notice yourself thinking, “What was my word of the year?” that’s your unconscious reminding you. You’ll be aware of all the times you’ve been more ____ in 2021.


Instead of a word, you’re installing your motto, although of course if you have a word that you want to be all year, a word that signifies the person you want to show up as every day, then use that.

The only rule in this is do what works for you.

Oh, and it has to be positive, joy inducing, excitement building, peace bringing, happiness sharing! Doesn’t have to be all of those things, but at least one, okay?

There you have it, my guide to feeling your best all your year round. Create your motto and remind yourself of it every day.

Sounds simple doesn’t it. Well, why not let it be fun and easy? Not everything has to be a challenge. I learned that the hard way!

Happy New Year to you and yours, may the world keep on turning and us humans start being better custodians of nature, kinder to others and ourselves.


Cynthia xx

I’ve completely reworked my Change for Life program and its now Being the Best Me. A 12 week 1:1 highly personalised HypnoTherapyCoaching offer designed to take you from being unhappy, miserable and not sure of who you are anymore to being fully reconnected to the truth of your brilliance, magnificence and humanity.

Interested? Email or message me to find out more. Space are limited as I can only work with so many people at a time. Be one who truly makes their life different this year.

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