Not possible! I hear you cry. Well with that attitude it sure isn’t! lol…
Actually it is because I’m going to the source with this work, its probably the most profound thing I’ve found to work on healing at the foundational levels, where the frickin’ wounds are, once and for all.
Some of you regulars readers will know I spoke about a panic attack, my first, that I had just before Christmas. You can read about what happened and how I returned to ‘normal’ within minutes here https://cynthiacurry.uk/panic-attacks-and-coming-back/
But that panic attack and the stress of what has been a really shitty year, even without Covid complications, made me realise my normal daily self care routine was skimming the surface and I needed to go deeper.
This happens for everyone. You heal, you resolve something in your life, you plateau and trundle along quite happily and then BAM! Another opportunity to heal arises. For me that’s the best way to look at it. You could talk about crises and disasters and the whole damn sh!tshow but really they are all an opportunity to heal at a deeper level.
And luckily I was able to pull together the work of of different teachers of mine to do just that and I’m going to share this with you now and I’m telling you, this is gold, its worth my weight in gold and that’s a tidy sum!
What first came into my mind was doing a CRAP list, and if you’ve worked with me one to one or read some of my earlier posts, you know that is a list of Conflicts, Reservation, and Any other Problems.
Of course its always good to get that sh!t out of your head and putting it down on paper is great because your brain thinks it has put its list of stuff it must remember to keep you safe somewhere safe and doesn’t need to remind you of it anymore. (No, we don’t burn the page, that’s not neuroscience but it has its place symbolically for sure.)
In this process we keep the list somewhere we can see it and then we change our emotional attachment to the things we wrote on it.
How? Well, that’s easy. By making yourself feel good as you look at the list. You self soothe through stroking your arms gently, or stroking your neck or wherever gives you a pleasurable sensation, (I’m not advocating masturbation, this is a gentle, soft soothing pleasure.) and you feel that lovely soothing sensation as you look at the list and you can even add a whole other level here by repeating your RWID mantra at the same time.
Now you’re filled up with positive energy and the negative change of your CRAP list is dissipated.
Brilliant, but that’s your day to day stuff, that’s not the source of your anxiety.
So we go deeper.
At around the same time as I experienced that panic attack I was reading a short book by Gary Craig, one of the originators of EFT, called The Unseen Therapist. And he recommends making a list of all your trauma, pains, frustrations, all of it and then asking the divine that is within all of us to heal it.
Essentially what we are doing with the daily CRAP list but spoken about in much more esoteric terms than the neuroscience Mark Waldman, from whom CRAP lists originate.
Oddly enough, just a month before I had written out a trauma biography in my journal to help me see just how much I had survived and overcome, which was weirdly empowering and soothing.
This new process takes all aspects of those three processes and puts them together, because we’re going into your heart, baby, and we’re healing all those wounds that you’ve papered over and pretend don’t still impact you. And this is the most moving, intense personal work I’ve ever done.
So get your journal, we start with writing, of course we do.
Write down everything you can remember that hurt you, that you belief impacted your life negatively, no matter how small, nor how long ago or only part remembered. Write it all down, what happened, how you felt about it, what harm it did, who hurt you and how its affected you.
All through your life, early years up to now. As much as you remember and even the family stories told that you don’t actually remember yourself but the story and its constant retelling impacted you harmfully.
And I want you to write down at least fifty, preferably a hundred hurtful incidents. Push yourself to go as deep and collate as many as you can. No less than fifty. I got sixty seven. Beat that.
And you may think some do not feel all that emotionally charged until you start writing about how it affected you, and then that charge hits you and can take you off your feet.
Write it all down. Don’t stop, allow your pen to take over and when you’ve written what you can, take a break and come back to it. No stopping until you’ve got everything out.
How will you know? Ask yourself, ‘Have I got all the harmful, hurtful memories out onto this piece of paper?’ Your subconscious mind will let you know either way.
All done? Great.
Now circle the three most emotionally charged events/memories.
And if you have trouble selecting which of the three to work on first, again ask for guidance from your subconscious mind. Ask it yes or no questions like-‘ this one?’ You’ll get a clear indication if that is one of your worst three or not.
Now I want you to relax as much as you possibly can. Take three deep breaths, inhale for 6, hold for 4, exhale for 6. Do that three times. Shake your arms and legs, put your feet on the floor, feel yourself in your body and not up in your head. Be grounded, even say ‘I’m grounded’ to anchor the strength and security of your link to the earth.
Now, do as I described above for CRAP list soothing on these old events and memories. We’re changing the emotional charge so it becomes painless. We can’t pretend it didn’t happen but we can change the emotions that are connected to that event/memory.
Introduce pleasurable sensations in your body, stroke the soft skin of your inner forearms, gently caress your collarbone, some people are soothed by smoothing down their hair. Find what works for you best.
Repeat your RWID manta or introduce one just for this purpose that is especially soothing, I like to use these words ‘Safe, warm, protected, nurtured, loved, taken care of.’
Allow the feelings those words invoke of being safe, feeling warm, knowing you’re protected, nurtured, loved and taken care of to flow through you like a warm blanket of comfort wrapped around you and as you feel that and are aware of the pleasurable sensations you are creating with your self soothing, look at those worst 3 items on list and just breathe easily, effortlessly as you feel so good, surveying the past and realising it doesn’t matter any more.
You are done with it. It was over a long time ago, you simply carried it with you as protection from ever being hurt like that again. But you’re different now, older, wiser and able to keep yourself safe. You can trust yourself to take care of you and allow yourself to be taken care of.
And do that until you feel the positive, calm, accepting energy you’ve generated to take care those memories and transform their effect on your life.
And then you do the next three, and the next and so on until you’ve completely healed your life from the inside out.
Of course, I can do this at the subconscious levels with you in hypnosis but you are able to do this for yourself.
You simply have to decide that you are worth it. Worth the effort required, worth the time and trouble of following the steps outlined above.
This is where many people let themselves down. They’ve read this far, it all sounds good and they say yeah, I must try that sometime.
And they never do it.
Because they are trapped by their behaviour and habits. Behavour and habits caused by the negative effects of those old memories. They don’t want you to change, they want you to stay just as you are, you’re surviving, right? You’re alive. That’s all they care about.
But you deserve more than just surviving, than being alive and not living.
You deserve to live as you always wanted to, vibrantly, fully, wholeheartedly.
I want that for you too. So go do the exercise. Surprise yourself. This is transformational stuff. Use it.
Happy new Year, Happy New Life.
OMG! I have also completed two new programs for you. One is a super sheap, super fab little course that offers you 5Steps to Mindset Mastery. I have had to record all the audios due to a technical glitch but in doing that I was surprised at just how good the information in this is. Its life changing and it won’t be expensive at all.
Second is something I’m mega excited about, my new signature hypnosis/coaching program, Best Self/Best Life. Crikey its good and I’ve almost completed the outline, I’ll share that with you soon. Its not cheap because its a 12 week, highly intensive one to one premium hypnosis/coaching course but I aim to also offer it as a group course and make it more accessible for people who don’t have that much disposable income right now. This is the best way to work with me and I am so excited to bring it to you.
If you’re interested in learning more, email or message me and I’ll send you the deets otherwise wait til its ready to be unveiled in the next few days.xx