The sofa or life? Sometimes we don’t see how important the choices we make are

Every day we face hundreds of choices, every minute we decide between one option or another, and even to do nothing at all in the face of our circumstances and overwhelm is a valid choice. It may not be a great one, but we can choose it if we want to.

You know, its the ‘that’s it! I’m just going to sit on the sofa, watch daytime tv and eat jammie dodgers because the world outside is too mean and scary and the world inside is too mean and scary.’ You probably don’t say the last part but I think you’ll be feeling something like that.

And that’s your choice and its a perfectly valid one if you never want anything to change. But you can decide on something different today – even if you’ve been doing the same thing for years and years, to the extent that that groove is etched deep in your brain like a neural grand canyon.

You can rewire your brain, you can rewrite your thinking, you can start to create new neural pathways. You can! And when you do, when you change your thinking and keep thinking the new thoughts, you change your life.

This is what I want to show you today, how all the neurotraining tips, the nlp, the hypnotherapy, the brain science I’ve given you recently all come together to good effect, how to stack them, one on top of the other, so you begin to automatically choose the new way of thinking and builds and strengthens these new neural pathways, a way of thinking that supports you in taking the action required to live into your ideal life.

Its simple, easy even, especially on good days, but it always requires effort, persistence, for you to not give up on yourself.

What you are basically doing is pulling yourself out of the trance you live in. don’t think you live in a trance? There are so many examples of this, but the most obvious is when you set off to drive somewhere that you go regularly. You’ll be almost there and wonder how you got there, you’ll have passed landmarks and not noticed them because you were driving in a trance state, same as you brush your teeth, eat too much food, sit on the sofa night after night watching tv, do the things you do every day. Including all those you wish you would stop.

We are like zombies, and we have no idea we are acting brainlessly. Instead of thinking about how hungry I might be, I automatically put two slices of bread in the toaster and eat them. And on the few occasions when I’ve been interrupted before eating the second slice and it goes cold. I never eat it, I don’t really want it, its just a habit I’ve had since childhood, like always grabbing two biscuits out of the cupboard instead of one.

Its what we know. Its what we’ve always done, so yep, we’re still doing it.

One of my favourite teachers Marisa Peer says that to make change happen in your mind and in your life you must first make the familiar unfamiliar and the unfamiliar familiar.

Sounds like a riddle doesn’t it? It may seem so but its not. To start making the unfamiliar familiar, you have to think about it, in every detail, all the time. Dwell on every aspect of it, fill your imagination with all the sensory details you can, the look of the thing, the feel of it, the smell, taste and sounds it may make. More than that, imagine how this unfamiliar thing that you want fits into your life, see yourself in your mind experiencing it with all your senses.

Imagine you want a beautiful home in a beautiful place – yes, that’s one of my desires – and see yourself living in that place, what’s the kitchen like, the bathrooms, the bedrooms, does it have stairs or is it one level, a house with a big garden or a fancy apartment, see the windows, the fireplaces, imagine curling up on the rug on a cold winter’s night in front of the flames, or seeing yourself bathing in the sun by the pool. Fill it all in.

Keep thinking about it and you make it familiar. That’s how it works, you make it familiar in your imagination, in your mind before it becomes familiar in your reality.

And if you’ve made this thing you want part of your RWID mantra, then you keep it front and centre of your mind every time you repeat your mantra. You are, in effect, adding to the Relative Weight of these thoughts with calculated Intensity and Duration. 😉 When you do that, you move in the direction of making it happen.

And the more you think about the thing you want, whether its health, wealth, love, success, improved relationships, work you love, laughter, supportive family and friends – whatever it is, the more you think about it, the less you are thinking about what you don’t want. The way things used to be when you were always thinking about how unhappy you were, how fed up, how you wanted change, for things to be different.

The more you think of what you want, the less you think of what you were unhappy with and the less you think of it, the more than once overused neural pathway becomes overgrown and patchy and eventually forgotten.

That’s how you make the unfamiliar familiar using RWID and as a by product of that you think less and less in your old way and so the familiar becomes unfamiliar.

As you keep thinking about what you want, you’ll start to get nudges, intuitive impulses to do something, to take action and here’s where you can say to yourself: ‘Okay, I’ve never done this before, it feels scary but I’m going to do it for 20 minutes.’ And not just any old 20 minutes, this is a fully committed, all energy, all focus, all intent, all in 20 minutes devoted to whatever it is you’ve been drawn to do.

And when you’re all in like that, the bitchy commentary that goes on inside your head shuts up and yes, you finally get some peace from it and you’ll feel great because you just moved, no matter how slightly, in the direction of your ideal life and of being the best version of yourself.

And you keep doing it. This is where you have to put some effort in. You may need to find some tenaciousness, some strength, stubbornness even to keep going, because if you want to live your ideal life, you do this, you can do this, you’ve got it. You get to do this and it feels great, even when you’re tired, even when you’re frustrated, even when you think you can’t do it anymore, you do.

Because you’ve committed to finally giving yourself the best effort you can. You’re living into that best version of you that you know you can be and by doing so you pull your ideal life into your reality.

You commit to the vision, to the dream, to your goals and you don’t let some sh!tty little voice inside your head put you off. No more! No longer!

And sure there will be missteps and mishaps and you’ll fall on your arse metaphorically speaking sometimes, but you get up, dust yourself off and take the next step.

You know why? Because you want it so much and you are finally listening to your wants and desires and you know its okay to have needs and wants and desires and to have them met. You want to be that best version of you, living your ideal life. Of course you do!

And here’s the thing. You will have good days and bad days, even with all of these tools and your commitment and focus. Its inevitable. That’s just life. even that best version of you living that ideal life will have good days and bad days.

We are not designed to be emotionally up all the time, same as we’re not designed to be emotionally low all the time. Life throws challenges at us constantly, as well as those beautiful synchronicities and co-incidences.

But when you consistently do the things that make you feel good, that nourish you mind, body and soul, then even the worst of bad days are doable, get through-able. You’ll manage them easier and come back to your balance, your equilibrium faster because you have built in resilience and you’ve even become teflon coated. Stress and anxiety no longer stick to you, they can’t, you’ve made yourself immune because that’s the kind of life you’ve built around you using all the tools you now have, that is the version of you that you have crafted.

This new way of thinking becomes who you are and suddenly, its your new familiar. Your new familiar is living the life you always wanted.


Cynthia xx

Want support on your journey?

Change for Life:The Self Restorer is available in person or via online  Zoom sessions.

All you need to build your life without limits is inside of you. Release the brakes, set yourself free.

A life with no limits, let’s go for it.



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