Sticking with this week’s theme, which came about randomly as always, I’m talking about how to go from living life as it just seems to end up being, being unconscious of your ability to change, to choose something different and life the life of your dreams.
How do you go from being ‘fine’ to being fully alive, vibrantly, wonderfully, joyously living in the moment, no matter what the moment brings?
We all have an idea of what will make us happy, and it seems startling that many millions of people seem to have the same generic dreams: winning the lottery, getting a raise at work or a new job with better conditions, or meeting a new partner, or having a better relationship with the one we have.
And there’s nothing wrong with any of that, but did you notice a couple of things?
Firstly, its all so similar. Surely, with us all being such individual expressions of life, there should be equally as many individual paths to happiness and a fulfilling life?
Secondly, its all external stuff. Make a list of the the things you want, the things you think and believe will make you happy. I’ll bet that most of it is external stuff, a variation on money, car, house, job, people, travel. Yeah? And we keep adding to the pieces we accumulate thinking if that one didn’t fix it, then the next thing will.
And whilst that stuff can be amazing, I have to burst that bubble for you. That’s not going to make you happy. None of it is. Not by itself. It may give you some comfort, of course, and make you feel better occasionally for sure, but it won’t give you last satisfaction and contentment with your life. It can’t.
I can point you to loads of studies that have shown that pay increases don’t bring improved levels of satisfaction at work; praise and recognition of a job well done actually are what counts and makes people happier.
I only have to cite a few out of the incredibly long list all through history of incredibly wealthy people who wrecked their lives to illustrate how money doesn’t automatically bring happiness in through the door with it.
Same with people. We can crave that relationship with the one who will complete us. What an amazing, romantic concept that is!
But if you feel broken or incomplete inside, all that other person ends up being is a witness to your pain and you’ll end up resenting them for that and they’ll end up resenting you for rejecting their love. No winners there either.
External stuff doesn’t make you happy, but it can make you happier.
Imagine if you were already happy, already feeling satisfaction with the life you’re living, you own that soul deep satisfaction and contentment running through you, and then you get the pay rise and the recognition and praise and meet the life partner who supports you.
Whoa! That’s a dream come true now, right?
So where does it start?
It starts with you. It starts within. A daily choice to be yourself, all of you, including the most brilliant, amazing parts of you that you usually deny yourself access to, that you deny exist at all.
Only in expressing who you are, all of you, can you be content, and happy, owning that deep satisfaction of a life well lived.
Unless you’re expressing yourself in the world, in your unique way, sharing yourself, your skills, talents, you can’t and won’t be content. You’re hiding. You’re not sharing yourself, you’re not showing up as all of you, or even at all.
And its critical that you do.
My breakdown/breakthrough started in 2005 when I walked away from what I thought was my dream job. There were a number of other factors but the simple fact was that the job I’d always thought was the answer to all my problems was anything but. It was a band aid on a knife wound to my gut!
And so I started a long, slow fucking journey to figuring out what would make me happy and I chased money first, as we’ve been taught to do in this consumerist materialistic society. And I kept getting rejected, failure after failure until I finally said ‘Fuck it, that’s not working.’ And stopped chasing it.
I didn’t know what was going to work for me but I knew I couldn’t keep trying, pretending, not being myself. So I choose to do what I wanted to do and I followed my interests, my craving for learning in subjects that fascinated me. Psychology, brain optimisation, therapeutic interventions and practices, hypnosis.
And I started doing something I had loved my whole life but never committed to – I wrote every single day. A blog, an article, a journal entry didn’t matter so long as I wrote something everyday direct from my heart, sharing my pain, my path, my learning, my joy.
I stopped chasing the car/house/money thing and instead I did what I loved and it changed my life.
I now love my life. Every single day I get to do work that fulfills me, meet amazing people who love to work with me and pay me, I get to have mind blowing conversations with teachers, mentors, coaches, peers and I learn every single day. I grow every single day. My life satisfaction rating is off the charts high most days.
Showing up every day, doing the best you can, being that best ever version of yourself that you once kept back, like good china. Choosing to be all of you, every day, through out the day.
Being all in.
In whatever it is you’re doing, doing what makes your heart sing and your soul soar.
The world needs you at your best.
You need you to be at your best. Otherwise you’re living half a life.
Give all of yourself airtime. Complete yourself.
Because when you show up as you, you give other people permission to do the same.
Connect authentically, create life, flow and love.
This is when magic happens and this is when you realise just how happy your life is.
PS. If you’ve been stuck, feeling like you’ve been living the same day over and over and its no fun anymore, if you’ve fought weight issues, depression, anxiety, addiction, or simply a feeling of general dissatisfaction with how your life is unfolding for you, and you feel like you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked. It’s natural to feel that a solution is almost impossible.
That’s part of what keeps the problem in place.
But real lasting change is possible.
Think how it would feel achieving your goals with far less resistance, whether it’s dropping excess weight, gaining freedom from depression and anxiety, being a rockstar in your business or career, or excelling in your personal relationships. You can do it, you have no fears about staying stuck and not moving forward anymore.
See yourself fully present and grounded, living with total fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with no regrets, as you carve your own path forward, moving forward always forward, no looking back .
Want this now? Check out this page and get in touch to get started on living your ideal life today.