We are told how men think in thousands of pages of print: the gender role assigned by the patriarchy that encourages men to ‘man up,’ to be strong, unemotional, to not feel because feelings are women’s domain.
Men are told that being the provider is their key role, that they must lead and succeed to matter and damn anyone who gets in the way.
What happens to men when the cage they put their feelings into finally cracks open?
Anger, fear, shame and guilt rise to the surface for even having feelings in the first place and because they never learned to express their feelings they do everything to suppress, deny and avoid what’s happening inside of them. They refuse to feel their feelings and instead act out, play up and get messed up.
Relationships hit the rocks, its hard to face the demands at work and things start getting shonky, it feels impossible to get things done with the same great results that were once easily achieved. And substance and activity abuses become everyday distraction techniques; drugs, alcohol, pornography, gambling, cheating, over exercising.
I have a client who was a high ranking officer in the police force. He has now retired from the force and has built a business up in the construction sector. In his words….. “ I look successful and appear to be, but inside I just feel I’m not. I keep punishing myself for old decisions and how I was then and I feel stuck! With negative thoughts.”
He’s not alone. Most of my male clients have the same doubts about what they did, how they acted, the relationships they thoughtlessly destroyed, and they fear doing it again because they haven’t learned how to be different.
What do you need to feel good about where you’re at in life? What new skills do you need to meet the demands of work and personal relationships?
Mostly its about leaving the past where it belongs, behind you, having resolved all its emotional heft. Its about being able to communicate honestly and openly with people, especially those you have close relationships with or those people with whom you want to rescue failing relationships.
Most of all, its about finding internal peace and discovering you are someone worthy of love, and instead of punishing yourself for the past, celebrating all you’ve achieved and recognising your true worth as a human being.
How long are you willing to stay stuck?
It’s possible to find release and you alone hold the key to your internal self made prison and the fastest way to get released from it is by hypnosis. With me 🙂 Because that’s what I do. I help men live lives of value and honour and recalibrate their internal landscape so they can have relationships that reflect the truth, honesty and love of who they really are and how deeply they care.
Sign up for HypnoCoaching today and start clearing your old mental and emotional distress and bring clarity, peace and self worth into your life.
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