What is it?
After all, like most of my clients, you know you can do it, you feel the urge to do it, you understand how doing this, achieving the thing you want to do will make your life richer, fuller, just better in every way.
It’s all in front of you, like a horse being led to the starting line, all you have to do is take off when the starting pistol goes off and you’re winning because no-one is in the race with you. You’re racing against yourself.
And yet, you’re not winning.
Because you’ve just stalled in your stall – horse racing humour! lol. Not that I find horse racing funny, I find it abominable and want it banned but that’s a different kind of post.
There you are all ready, willing and able and yet…frozen in place.
Its as if your feet have been glued to the floor, you’re playing an adult game of statues where the stakes are the highest you’ve ever played for.
This is your life you’re stalling on!
I know this fear, I’ve felt it myself many times. All of my clients have. I would say most people have felt this.
It’s not motivation that you lack. You have that in spades.
What’s happening is you’re frozen in fear. Your subconscious programming is telling you it’s not safe for whatever reason of its own and you cannot force yourself through that level of resistance.
And so you may make a little progress but nothing like the massive leaps and gains you know you’re capable of.
Because fear has you immobilised.
Your past and current circumstances keeps you recreating the same things over and over again.
That’s what subconscious programming does, keep you in a loop. Safe, survivable but not living how you want. Nowhere near that. Because that means change and we don’t like change.
Ground Hog Day. Over and over again.
Same relationship problems no matter how many times you change partners.
Same work related issues no matter how much training and sensitivity raising seminars and productivity courses you’ve been on.
Same money problems.
Same health problems.
Same eating habits. Drinking habits. Living patterns.
Same ole, same old sh!t because you’re the same old you.
And maybe you don’t see it yet. We often don’t, after all we’ve moved on, new partner, new workplace, new home, everything’s new, everyone’s different.
But the common denominator is what?
You tie all your old sh!t and all your lovely new shiny stuff together.
And guess what?
The shiny newness wears off and you’re looking down the barrel at the same old arguments, same old insecurities, same ole, same ole.
It’s the way it is. It’s the way we are.
Human beings are programmed to survive not thrive. And from an evolutionary perspective, the same old day on repeat is excellent news because it means we are surviving, every damn day.
But we also evolved this amazing capacity to think, to have ideas, to be flooded with excitement, enthusiasm, inspiration and we have the desire to create, to build, to make, to be productive.
The two impulses do not co-exist.
You are either in Groundhog Day autopilot or in Inspirational Presence and Consciousness.
And its in Inspirational Presence and Consciousness that we thrive.
Here is where our dreams and aspirations live, where the hopes for our lives coalesce into vivid images and becomes goals and ambitions that we believe we can create for ourselves and the world.
But, then we get in our own way.
We think about our dreams, we visualise the wonder of living those dreams and then fall into autopilot and say, ‘well, that’s not realistic! Must get a good job and work my way day by day up the ladder. No Steve Jobs like design creativity in me.’
Of course, it may not be Steve Jobs that inspires you, it could be a sporting icon like Usain Bolt or a designer like Dior or Galliano or an actor like Streep or DeVito or a writer like Austen or Dickens.
My point is, you decide you don’t have it. Whatever it is. And you push away your dreams, hopes and desires and live out your days in Groundhog Day repeat pattern.
It’s not so bad but its never going to be really good.
Because you just can’t see it. You don’t think its possible.
But what’s that based on though ?
Based on your old thinking.
Where did that come from?
All the people around you. Your culture, your friends and family.
Have they ever stepped out and followed their dreams?
Probably not. In fact, I’d say most definitely not.
So there you are, following the thoughts you absorbed from people who never tried to follow their dreams who in turn learned from their parents and culture, other people who never did anything with their dreams.
Why is the blind leading the blind? and why do you follow willingly?
Oh I know.
It’s easier. It’s too difficult to confront your fears, to put yourself out there. To say, ‘Hey, I’m going to do this. Watch me!’
And fail. And fail. And fail.
And keep on getting up and giving it another go because you can’t not.
You know that what’s inside of you is meant for you.
We have to learn to overcome that negativity. We have to learn to feel it, be aware of it and say to it, ‘Thank you for your opinion and thank you for trying to keep me safe but I believe I can and I’m going to f*cking die trying.’
And if you keep moving forward in the direction of your dreams, guess what?
That’s the direction you move in: you bring those dreams you hold in your heart closer and closer into reality every time you give it a go, even when it doesn’t work.
A client of mine has been wanting a better relationship his whole life. Every one with every woman has ended up in more of less the same way, him getting scared and checking out, being unfaithful and pushing his lover away.
Once he realised the common denominator (him) and worked on his issues, his was able to start designing his ideal relationship and hold out for that ideal partner because he knew he deserved all of his dream and nothing less would do.
Keep going. Always hold your desired end result in mind and take those baby steps forward. Circumvent the autopilot, engage your Inspirational Presence and Consciousness state as much as you can throughout the day.
You don’t have to do it all at once. One step, one action, one thought at a time.
And you’ll get there, where you want to be. You will get there. Because you can’t not. You’ve moving towards it now, your thoughts and actions make it so.
Stop allowing other people’s inhibitions and limiting beliefs inhibit and limit you and your life. Engage in dreaming, construct a ladder, one step at a time to the stars.
I believe you can. What’s stopping you from believing in yourself?
PS. If you need more help get in touch. That’s what I’m here for! And if you really want to learn the techniques I describe above and learn how to help yourself faster. Then treat yourself to a few sessions, it will be one of the best things you can do for yourself. I promise/
My Signature Program, Change for Life. Ready to enrol new clients, yippee! Are you ready, willing and able to do what it takes until it takes to get the life you want? Are you ready to step up and invest in yourself and commit to building the life and the identity of your best self?
Change for Life: The Self Restorer