Did your Mum used to shout that at you when she got frustrated with you?
Mine did, ‘You’re all driving me to distraction,’ she’s yell at me and my siblings, usually because we wanted her attention or were playing up when she was trying to get something done.
And recently, I was watching a Russell Brand video that had come up on Facebook, yes I was practising distraction 😉 Russell was answering an audience member’s question, this was one I had seen before but I decided to watch it again and I’m glad I did. The question was about avoiding temptation in the moment you’re faced with it and Russell said something that had bells ringing inside my head, I knew it was important but I couldn’t tease it out there and then.
Later that night, I started craving sugar and I knew I had some Cadbury’s Mini Rolls in the cupboard that I’d bought for my nephew (true story!) And I was going up the wall with cravings, trying to watch tv and knowing these frankly disgusting, sickly sweet non food sweet treats were waiting for me in the kitchen, luring me into eating them and breaking my no sugar commitment. And I had to have them, had to. There was no denying the overwhelming urge to eat these things, because I’d never eat just one!
And of course, that’s what I did. I went and made a fresh cup of tea and grabbed 2 mini rolls and ate them like I was starving.
When my brain came back online, I remembered what Russell had said about cravings and giving in to temptation, giving in to addiction. He’d said, and I’m paraphrasing here, that the danger of giving in to the addiction was not in that moment of craving, it had started long before it got to that point.
Yes, that’s what I recognised as important earlier but couldn’t understand. Now I had the perfect example of it.
What are you avoiding that needs the distraction of the thing you’re craving?
That’s the gold nugget right there.
Because for me, I was avoiding the work I had signed up for, reading and researching on my new projects, writing the workbooks, laying out the format and audio notes. I was also avoiding making a decision about a new coaching programme for myself. I was avoiding stepping up and being the best version of me that I aspire to always be.
I started resisting the work I needed to do on myself, for myself, by watching tv and mindlessly scrolling social media and that led to the addictive behaviour kicking in. There was no wine in the house, because a glass or two will usually settle the demons but no, tonight I had sugar in the house and for me, that is just as dangerous and unhealthy as alcohol, if not more so.
But that lapse led to my eureka moment, the discovery and that is solid gold.
I lapse into addictive behaviour because of avoidance. We already knew that. We mostly start start on the road of addiction because we’re avoiding pain.
But now that I’m looking to change my life and step up to a new level of commitment, showing up even more as my best self. I’m still resisting. Because that’s our conditioned and evolutionary response; to avoid change, even change that is good for us.
This insight has led me to see how important it is to do what you’re being guided to do in the moment – no matter what!
*Caveat – Guided by Higher Self, by your goals, by your conscious decisions, NOT by your addictive ego personality.
Avoidance and resistance feel horrible and so we act out to numb ourselves.
Sure, the thing we’re avoiding can sometimes look like hard work – and it often is!
Sometimes it’s going to be tough, tricky, challenging and a fricking slog. But it actually feels way better to get on with it, than resisting and avoiding it.
I’m a person who gets on with the things she’s guided to do.
My new mantra, my newly adopted belief and identity.
Because when you’ve got your thinking right, you also have to take the inspired action to make the changes you want in life, to create the person you want to be, to be that person as much as you can every day. And be more every day.
As I’ve said before, when you do the hard things, you get better at life and life gets better and better.
Don’t put off whatever it is you need and want to get done.
Do it now! Today! Your future self will thank you for it.
And The Identity Matrix – a brand new programme for you to create the person you always wanted to be is in the works. Let me know if you’re interested by leaving a comment below
PS. Think what would life be like if your thought processes were upgraded so you became unstoppable. What would life be like if you were able to step up and show up as that best ever version of you that you know you’re capable of?
Picture yourself thriving in life, developing an instinct for making the right choices, knowing in your gut you’re always choosing the correct thing for you.
Imagine any addictions, old anxiety and fear melting away, no longer influencing your thinking, your behaviour, your decisions. You are free to make better choices.
Think how it would feel achieving your goals with far less resistance, whether it’s earning an extraordinary income, being a rockstar in your business or career, or excelling in your personal relationships. You can do it, you have no fears about any of it anymore.
See yourself fully present and grounded, living with total fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with zero regrets, as you fearlessly carve your own path forward.
Want this now? Check out this page and get in touch to get started on living your ideal life today.