You create your reality everyday through the thoughts you think, the words you say, the actions you take.
And most of us look at the life we’re currently living and react to that in our thoughts, words and actions.
‘I don’t like this.’
‘I don’t want that.’
‘I reject this sh!t!’
‘Why does it always happen to me?’
Right? We moan and bitch and whine. I know, because I was that person too.
And because all we’re thinking about, talking about and reacting to is stuff we don’t want, because we keep focusing on that we get more of it.
The trick to changing your life is putting your attention on what you do want; the thoughts, the feelings, the sensation you want to have, the appreciative words that feel so good to say, feeling the wonder of life whether you are living it yet or not. (Hint, you’re always living it, you just have to choose better.)
React not to what you have but what you expect.
And you create an expectation of good things when you focus your thoughts on good things.
Want to be happier? Think about the things that make you happy.
Want to have better relationships? Think of all the things you want in your partner if you don’t have one, all the things you admire and appreciate about the partner you have if you’re involved with someone and think of all the things you want from your relationship.
Want to do better in life? Think better!
The second part is to stop avoiding the stuff you need to sort out. Just get it done.
Do the hard work first. When you do, you get better at life and your life gets better and better.
When you don’t do the hard stuff, the tricky stuff, the stuff that you’re resisting for all the many reasons you have; it drains away all your energy because you think about having to do it and not wanting to do it all the time.
And as you practice avoidance, all the distraction techniques you use start to wake up and agitate to be used, cravings will start here, and you’ll eat crap, you’ll watch tv for hours or scroll on social media for hours, have a drink or two or many and do whatever your particular distraction speciality is.
And so hours go by, days go by and in the worst cases of avoidance years and lifetimes go by.
You lose your life to the distraction strategy, because you couldn’t make yourself do the thing you needed to do.
And when we resist, the thing in front of us that we’re resisting and avoiding looms ever bigger, and seems to get more and more difficult for us.
And on top of that, you feel like sh!t for indulging in your personal poison substance/activity as a means of distraction.
Do the hard thing first. Whatever it is. Maybe it’s apologising to someone, maybe it’s sitting down to your work, maybe it’s committing to something or someone or to yourself. Whatever it is, get it done. and then you can move on.
And as you do it, focus on the good things you want in your life, put your attention on how you are stepping up into being a better version of yourself, tapping into that best version of you that lives inside your heart and soul.
And appreciate yourself for all the efforts you’re making. It will make a difference. Everything you do makes a difference and now you’re working on the right side of the equation, you’ll see improvements in yourself too. You are different, every time you focus your thoughts differently, so they work FOR you, you cement that change into your mind.
And if you want to do better but feel scared to think differently, feel you don’t know how, or are stuck in your old ways? Ask for help.
Ask for internal support. Ask that best ever version of you to support you and help you, to show you how you can think differently.
And ask the parts of you that are resisting and avoiding to work with you to get the outcome you want.
Bring all of yourself together, because this task of changing your life, of changing your behaviour requires all of you to be in it.
Think outcome focused. How good are you going to feel once you’ve done the thing?
And beyond that, what would it feel good to have done, to be doing, to make your life about? What is the result you want to achieve and what is the higher self inspired but still maybe you resist it way you’re going to go about it?
Change is always possible. You can go from here to there, where you want to be. From being someone you don’t like so much to being totally in love with yourself.
All you have to do is open yourself up to thinking in a way that makes it happen.