As you may have noticed, there’s been a thread running through some of my recent posts about the friction I’m experiencing at home, ever since my brother and his fiancee came to stay. There probably would have been some issues to deal with as I have gone from living in the house with only Amelia for company to now have two other adults staying.
The situation has been exacerbated by the fact that Middle Eastern culture is notably anti-dog and there’s been a fairly intense standoff about which parts of the house Amelia can enter or not. Obviously, this is confusing and upsetting for her and that makes me upset and angry.
And so we reach impasse with one person throwing a tantrum, another rushing to soothe his girlfriend’s feeling and me feeling victimised, put upon and cast in my old childhood role as an outsider.
However, its up to me whether or not to accept that role. It’s up to me whether or not I allow myself to be sidelined or continue to engage with the people in my house. How they respond is up to them.
This is the work we do every day. To grow and be our best selves. To protect and heal the parts of us that are vulnerable by responding with all our creative and logical power instead of reverting to childhood patterns.
In my case, the pattern is to hide and avoid confrontation.
This does not work with bullies, nor, if I follow it now, does it tell my inner 8 year old that I am in control of the situation and capable of taking care of both her and myself. If I revert to that pattern, she has taken charge. And having a child run my life is no longer an option.
Think about all the times you’ve felt backed into a corner, threatened in some way, how do you behave? And ask yourself ‘how old was I when I acted like that?’ If you listen to the first answer that comes into your head, then it most likely won’t be your current adult age.
Talking to my coach yesterday, all the best therapist and coaches take their own advice and have therapists and coaches, I have several for different aspects of my life. My coach reminded me of things I was saying in August as I embarked on a new project.
The difference between what I was saying yesterday and what I said last month was startling. I wasn’t sure I was capable of doing what I was setting out to do, who do I think I am trying to build a business on this big a scale, and the perennial favourite, I wasn’t sure I was good enough.
Not to mention the personal sense of being invisible and unimportant and unloved and unworthy. I was deep in the pit.
Last month, I was so full of optimism, self belief and conviction that I had enough, I knew everything I needed to know, I’d done enough and I was more than good enough.
We are going to get rocked in our convictions, we’re always going to face challenging circumstances. Our job is to hold onto what we know to be true and do what we are here to do.
For me that means first and foremost to know that I am of value, not because of what I do, but because I am here, I exist. I was born and my birthright is to be, do and have everything I was born for.
For me, what I see inside of me is someone who writes everyday and whose art reaches from my heart to yours. Making a difference with my work, making friends with my amazing clients. I see a beautiful home in a beautiful place, I see love and home and wealth, success, Amelia and faith. Those six words comprise my current RWID manta.
And I claim it for myself. And I keep claiming it, every single day, even when I’m questioning myself. I claim it.
I have the right to claim my space, as do you.
And I start by writing out the list of my good qualities. I write out who I want to be, the ideal version of myself that lives inside of me. I write out my ideal life, where I live, what I do, who I impact and interact with. And I know that and can picture it in every detail in my mind’s eye.
I affirm that I am enough, I have enough, I’ve done enough and I receive based on my energy, my expectations, my vibration.
And I repeat my RWID manta, every day, several times a day and over and over.
This is transformational. I can feel the change in myself already. I am being true to myself, true to who I am and the ideal self I aim to be. Other people can behave however they want, I don’t live in fear, I live in truth, the truth of who I am.
Having a string of words to shield you from life’s slings and arrows sounds silly and even ridiculous. How could that possibly work? But it does.
Every problem has an answer and you can’t see it, you can’t find it, you cannot deduce it if your thinking is clouded with stress and has been hijacked by panic and worry.
Your creative and logical thinking shuts down when you revert to old patterns when in anxiety and fear situations. You cannot think, you don’t think. You go to everyone else asking for solutions because you’re stuck and you can’t see a way round the obstacles in your path.
The best solutions always come from within you when you are fully in your power. And you get fully in your power by getting calm, by affirming who you truly are, who you aim to be and what you want to create, and then making decisions from that position of strength.
I’ve had many friends tell me not to spend money on a new coaching programme, that I’ll need the money for a deposit on a new house.
I am making the decision based on what the me living her best life would choose. She’d choose the coaching because I know I’m always taken care of and everything works out for the best.
Mindset work is the crucial key to successful living. Whether you want a better job, business, relationship or life. You must work on your thinking first. Change starts within.
Change your thinking and you change your life. And it all starts with loving yourself.
How do you see yourself? As a person who has the life they want to live, being the kind of person they always wanted to be?
Or does that ring false? Do you think you can’t have that? Is it too much? You’re somehow not allowed to be, do and have everything you want?
Why not? What makes her over there who has that kind of life more deserving than you?
She thinks differently. You can think differently too.
Allow the truth of just how amazing you are to enter into your being; mind, body and soul.
Whatever happened up to now happened, You can’t change that, you can change how you feel about it and go forward with the past no longer holding you back.
That limited mindset, where you thought everything was your fault? Let it go. Because it was never true.
Be you. All of you and own just how fucking fabulous you are. Your uniqueness, your singular way of looking at the world. All your hopes and dreams.
Be the best you can be.
Because the world is waiting for you. We’re all waiting for you.
How do I know? Because I’ve gone through and am going through again, more or less the same thing.
We cycle through this stuff and there’s another layer to heal.
Heal it, accept it, and get back on track.
Life is much better when you love yourself.
Give yourself what you need today.
Love, compassion and the deep knowing that you are and always have been enough.
And you can do it, Whatever it is. You can.
And although you don’t need permission, if that’s what’s maybe holding you back as it once did for me, I give you my permission for you to be you.
PS. Below you’ll learn more about how I can support you in your healing journey.
Think what would life be like if your thought processes were upgraded so you became unstoppable. What would life be like if you were able to step up and show up as that best ever version of you that you know you’re capable of?
Picture yourself thriving in life, developing an instinct for making the right choices, knowing in your gut you’re always choosing the correct thing for you.
Imagine any addictions, old anxiety and fear melting away, no longer influencing your thinking, your behaviour, your decisions. You are free to make better choices.
Think how it would feel achieving your goals with far less resistance, knowing you can melt resistance with the power and focus of your attention. You can do it, you have no fears about any of it anymore.
See yourself fully present and grounded, living with fulfillment and satisfaction with how life is unfolding for you, with zero regrets, able to handle anything that comes up as you fearlessly carve your own path forward.
Want this now? Check out this page and get in touch to get started on living your ideal life today. Or simply take the product tour to find out more.