When you think about how old you are, if you’re like me, you normally just think about the number of years you’ve been alive and maybe what you see in the mirror and then maybe, like me, you judge yourself against what society, the media and Hollywood say someone that age should look like, behave, should own and have.
Kinda depressing quite often too. Because we’ve read those lists about all the things you should have done by the time you’re 30, 40, 50 and on and on. And all the lists of all the things you should have; for women that can often just be a list of clothes and designer names. Let’s all move on from that sh!t.
But what if I reworded that question to what age are you when you react? Say someone annoys you in a store or a driver cuts you off in heavy traffic or pulls out in front of you as you’re flying down the fast lane. And you fly off the handle, what age are you then? In that moment?
And if someone hurts you in some way, physically, emotionally, financially. What age are you when you react to that?
What I’ve found again and again in my work with clients and what research has confirmed is that we react to events in our life based on the age we were when we first felt that feeling.
Let me explain that a bit more. If a loved one hurts you, maybe they say something about you to a friend and you feel betrayed, maybe they actually do betray you, whatever it is, big or small; that feeling triggers an emotional response that’s not based on this event, instead the hurt of this event is added to the feelings you are holding from the first time you were hurt and felt the same thing. And you react from the age you were at this earlier event and with all the subsequent hurts you’ve added to it.
That’s why sometimes the intensity of our reaction to a tiny slight can seem so surprising even to ourselves.
We all have an Inner Child that we need to nurture and heal. A little one who still hurts and still takes control when we’ve been hurt. Imagine you get into the driving seat of a fast car, you’re strapped in and look across and see that younger version of you driving. Would you feel safe? Feel okay about them taking control?
Because every time you feel strong emotions, you can be sure your hurt little version of you is in the driving seat of your reactions, and if you’ve ever seen a six year old drive, then you’ll know this is probably not a good idea.
You can connect with your inner child and heal that broken heart, and in turn heal your adult life. I will soon be releasing an hypnosis audio that helps guide you to do this. I’ve used it with clients and had great results. And if you would like a personal session, get in touch. I now offer remote sessions online which have been proven to be just as effective as in person.