They all come from the same thing.
They all exist out of the same place.
And they all have the same answer.
Let’s start with the most important thing first. Because when I tell you what the answer is to depression, anxiety, burnout and unhappiness, does it really matter where they came from, what caused them in the first place?
No! Of course not. Because you’ll be too busy changing things to go back and give that a moment’s thought.
The answer to depression, anxiety, burnout and any other unhappiness is LOVE.
Yes. That’s it.
Don’t groan. Don’t think its silly or too simple because your depression, your anxiety, your unhappiness is so big, so complex and so bloody awful.
Everybody thinks that. I used to too.
But I know this for a fact!
One thing will alter it forever. One thing will dissolve it all away.
Simple doesn’t equal easy BTW. Just so you know.
Love is the answer.
Love always has been and always will be the answer.
You loving yourself, fully, unconditionally, no matter what. That’s the answer.
The answer to everything.
Should I eat the doughnut or not?
What does love say?
Don’t eat it because its horrible fatty, sugary stuff that’s bad for you. Or love might say you deserve a treat, have a bite or two, that’s all you need.
You have to tune in and ask, ‘What does loving myself fully look like in this situation?’
With someone who treats you poorly occasionally but mostly is a super boy/girlfriend to you? But when they hurt you, they really hurt you deep.
What does self love, complete, full love for yourself look like in that situation?
Set boundaries with your partner to stay in the relationship and encourage them to get help or leave because you’ve done all you can? Your self love will tell you the right answer for you.
Should I move across country or stay where I am? Is it better for me to change jobs/end a relationship/train for a new career?
Love has the answer for you.
And depression, anxiety, burnout and unhappiness? They all come from a lack of love. Might have started in childhood and you learned not to ask for and never look for love, not even the incredible love you can give to yourself.
Love is the answer. Loving yourself will stop the tortuous thoughts that are spinning round and round in your head making you sad, sore and unhappy. Love gives you energy, vitality and most of all self belief.
When you love yourself, when you believe in yourself, the sticks and stones of everyday life bounce off, like you’re made from Teflon, nothing sticks.
How do you start when you don’t even know what love is, what it looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes like?
I want you to imagine, as you’re reading this that you are journeying within your mind, heart and soul to a place where every aspect of you, every level and layer of your being meet, past, present and future.
And right at that intersectional point, there’s a room, a concrete bunker with massive ‘KEEP OUT!’ signs and Danger No Admittance posters all around it on every inch of the four walls. And its wrapped in that yellow and black crime scene tape and there’s a huge padlock on the door.
You didn’t even know this place existed within you and it looks like there’s something deadly in there, something you should fear.
But as you look at the door you notice there’s a tiny little sign behind one of the ‘KEEP OUT!’ posters, and you tear them out of the way and you see a thumb sized heart engraved on the door with Love in an beautiful font etched beside it.
And you feel a flicker of something in your chest…hope? the sense of possibility that things could be different?
And you look around for something to use to open the door, to break it down, to tear down the walls if you have to.
Whatever you need is right there, an axe, a padlock breaker thingy, a kango/jack hammer/concreate breaker drill thingy too. And you tear into that door, you break the padlock, you chew up the walls and you’re through.
As you step into the room, maybe there’s a shower of confetti hearts, in every share from the palest of blush pink to the richest crimson red and as you brush them off your shoulders you find yourself in your favourite place, whether real or imaginary.
Maybe you’re swimming with dolphins in a beautiful turquoise sea, exploring gorgeous coral reefs and playing in the surf.
Maybe you’re more like me and you find yourself standing on sunny uplands, green fields spread out in front of you, woodland to one side a a slow meandering river for you to walk alongside to a shady oak tree to sit and be at peace.
Maybe you’re skiing downhill, the rush thrilling through your veins or sitting in a huge comfy chair, blanket wrapped over your knees as you watch the raindrops race each other down the window.
And wherever it is is just right for you, it’s a place that fills you up with love and joy and appreciation for life and all its possibilities.
And as you step back outside the bunker, all the walls have fallen now and that intersection of all aspects, layers, levels and parts of you, past, present and future has been transformed into a garden, a place of love, joy and growth. Filling you with love and joy and the possibilities of life being more than you ever thought it could be, allowing you to grow and change.
And every day you come back to your garden to feel the love and joy and see for yourself the growth at the center of your being and all the tendrils, seeds, of love and joy being sent out to take root in every part of you.
Now that may seem all woo woo, fluffy, silly nonsense but neuroscience is finally catching up with spiritual wisdom and endorsing the fact that what we see in our mind, what we return to every day and fill with sensory information and experience as if it was in the real world – actually changes the real world!
Let me say that again. What you see within you is what you will live.
You can think dark, dreary thoughts all day long and that’s what you get in your life. More darkness and dreariness. Depression, anxiety, burnout, unhappiness – we inflict it on ourselves and make it worse by thinking on it day after day, hour after hour.
Think love, think ‘I love myself,’ think of the people you love and those who love you and feel the sensations of love, feel the joy, the peace, the acceptance and approval. And if you’re not getting it from other people, give it to yourself.
I love myself. Give yourself the gift of joy.
Sometimes when I’m saying that to myself, I’ll look in the mirror and say ‘I love you’ and I almost hear an echo, an ‘I love you too.’ I like to think its my subconscious mind answering me.
I love myself.
Say it over and over, stand in the garden of love and hope and possibility at the very centre of your being and say ‘I love myself.’
Feel it rippling out to every cell, every atom and fiber of your being, every thought, every feeling irrevocably changed because you love yourself.
And life changes because you love yourself.
Your whole life will change and you will see the world differently and the world sees you differently.
Because you love yourself.
You are worthy of love and you know it and are clearly demonstrating it.
Next time you are faced with a problem, a dilemma of some kind, ask ‘if I was acting from the deepest love for myself, what action would I take?’
You will surprise yourself. Sometimes the decisions will be tough ones to make, other times they’ll be so easy. But the guiding light at the heart is that you are always doing what is right for you.
And then you keep going, loving yourself more, learning how to live more as yourself because that’s what love is – not hiding, not denying, not pretending to be something else.
Why would you?
Why would you hurt yourself when you are always acting from love?
No-one can argue with that. Not even you.
HypnoTherapyCoaching is amazing for taking you from stuck to freedom. From being where and who you don’t want to be, stressed, unhappy, burnt out and unhealthy to finding yourself and feeling whole, happy, strong and free.
Interested in working 1:1 with me? Email or message me to find out more.